This week we take a look at some of the latest musical releases on offer...
 

ABBA - ABBA (REMASTERED+ BONUS TRACKS)
ABBA - ARRIVAL (REMASTERED + BONUS TRACKS)
ABBA - RING RING (REMASTERED + BONUS TRACKS)
ABBA - SUPER TROUPER ( REMASTERED + BONUS TRACKS)
ABBA - THE ALBUM (REMASTERED + BONUS TRACKS)
ABBA - THE VISITORS(REMASTERED + BONUS TRACKS)
ABBA - VOULEZ VOUS (REMASTERED+ BONUS TRACKS)
ABBA - WATERLOO ( REMASTERED + BONUS TRACKS)
 

So an entire Abba back-catalogue. We all know the singles, but what about the albums? Is there any point to buying more Abba than is offered by a cheap comp? The answer is of course yes. You see while Abba's seventies singles chart dominance was generated through terrific pop songs, their albums were much a very different kettle of fish entirely. Their debut, "Waterloo" (1974) is a meandering piece of Swedish prog: a continuation of the title track that explores a contemporary romantic relationship by means of complexed reference to the last days of Napoleon's empire building.
Their eponymous follow up is less interesting and is only really worth buying for the daring "Curved Air" -like "Intermezzo #1".
"Arrival" is an interesting little oddity. It's the one with them in a helicopter on the front, and the final track is merely that: them in a helicopter for ten minutes. The album also includes the eurovision-parody "Dum Diddle Diddle", and the post-modern "When I Kissed a Teacher". But the stand out track is their psychedelic interpretation of Blake's "Tiger". Compelling stuff.
"The Album" is not so good and its main point of interest is the mini-musical on side two, while "Voulez-Vous" is a disco-rock album and though the tracks are all nice enough it is nothing to what has been before.
"Super Trouper" comes next and is as uninteresting as the last two if not more, but then comes final offering, "The Visitors", a dark and depressing story about an alien stranded in the less appealing concrete underground parts of Sweden. Makes "OK Computer" look like euro-pop.
Not sure what "Ring Ring" is referring to. We think they've made it up. But go out and consider the good ones so long as you don't buy more than one at a time.
 
 

ALISHA'S ATTIC - PRETENDER GOT MY HEART
 

New single from the no longer good female duo. When they first arrived they showed a little spark of promise but then they blew it by releasing crap. This is not their worse track by any means though. It's all about falling in love with the bass player from the pretenders. Nice idea poorly executed.
 

 ASH - SOMETIMES
 

New single from the Irish indie band. For some reason they have decided to cover an Erasure song. I hope they know what they're doing.
 

BELLE AND SEBASTIAN - SING JONATHAN DAVID
 

Another new single. This is the track being used in the British Gas adverts at the moment. The one with the lava lamp and the fish. If you like it buy it.
 

BLUE OYSTER CULT - CURSE OF THE HIDDEN MIRROR
 

Interesting title. Uninteresting half-baked collection of slightly heavy AOR tracks. Avoid.
 

CHRISTINA AGUILERA / LIL KIM /MYA /PINK - LADY MARMALADE  12     3.99
 

Brazil's finest musical export since Pele's ill-fated album "A Man Possessed" teams up with fellow Brazillian ballad chick Mya, and hip-hop diva Lil Kim to cover this classic by Labelle (Voulez Vous thing thing Avec Moi in french). Interesting, but not exciting. If you like this sort of thing it'll be right up your street.
 

DAEVID ALLEN - UNIVERSITY OF ERRORS 2
 

Mr Gong himself turns up with his faculty of fuck-ups for another semester of anarchic anachronism. If you enjoyed earlier Errors offerings then get this too, else try and find some of the earlier stuff instead.
 
 

DAVID BYRNE - FEELINGS
 

The bloke from talking heads reissues his most filthy work to date: 43' of touching himself in front of a microphone, with an African tribe playing in the background. Not for the faint hearted or the easily offended.
 

DEPECHE MODE - EXCITER
 

From one piece of filth to another. Dave Gahan, junked up and bleeding, frotts to and fro across an American stage, doing pretty much the same sort of thing as David Byrne but with a mid 80s electro-pop backing. Fans of Slipknot may find this stuff inspirational.
 

DURAN DURAN - RIO
 

Another new romantic re-release. Unpleasant.
 

EDDY GRANT - ELECTRIC AVENUE (PROMO) RINGBANG REMIX
 

Interesting new mix of the electro-reggae pop classic. This time it is Sid Wadelle at the turntables. Worth a peek.
 

ELVIS COSTELLO - IMPERIAL BEDROOM
 

One of the most sickening pieces of filth ever released. cf. Byrne and Depeche Mode. This time on a grander stage set at the Royal Albert Hall. This sort of thing was very popular in the late eighties. God knows why.
 

ENTIRE HISTORY OF PUNK - VARIOUS 20XCD IN BOX
 

An ambitious project this. Hampered by copyright issues it becomes a stodgy disco anthology instead. Why waste your money on this when you can go and buy the real history of punk for a few quid more?
 

IGGY POP - BEAT EM UP
 

Crap.
 

INCREDIBLE STRING BAND - AN INTRO TO
 

Tidy little comp spanning their career in £6 and 16 tracks. Alternatively buy hangman and make do.
 

JAMES - GETTING AWAY WITH IT
 

Not any more if we can help it. These bastards ripped off Et Cetera for their only real hit and now they are struggling to top it. Again they fail.
 

JANET JACKSON - ALL FOR YOU
 

More slimy body popping from the robot woman. Does anyone this side of the eighties care? I can only assume they must...
 

JUDAS PRIEST - MACHINE MAN
 

Bizarre Kraftwerk tribute from the classic metallers. Twisted covers of such classics as "The Model" and "The Robots". "Neon Lights" is the best though, with Glen Tipton screaming like there's no tomorrow and some fantastic drumming from whoever is doing that at the moment.
 

JUNO - A FUTURE LIVED IN THE PAST
 

Fat Greek man with a lot of bad songs. Steer clear.
 

JUNOMAN - SUBEQUENTIAL (AURAL SATISFACTION)
 

Another fat Greek man. A rival. Equally bad. Best to avoid this whole scene.
 

JUSTIFIED ANCIENTS OF MU MU - SHAG TIMES
 

In this rather twisted album the KLF have traded in their ice-cream van for a nookie parlour. Much ribald fun ensues. Not for the easily offended.
 

KINKS - THE SINGLES COLLECTION
 

The kinks did a lot of albums. So perhaps a cheap comp is a good starting point. However, this one isn't so cheap. So get a cheap one. And get Village Green.
 
 

LEMONHEADS - CREATOR
LEMONHEADS - HATE YOUR FRIENDS
LEMONHEADS - LICK
 

The three original Lemonheads LPs get rereleased. It's a thought. But if you haven't got it already you probably never will... is that right?
 

LOU REED - NEW SENSATION
 

God no.
 

MARC ALMOND - STRANGER THINGS (LIMITED ED)
 

the record is nothing special, but this limited edition version comes complete with your very own inflatable Marc complete with realistic tattoo map and multiple orifices. If that interests you then buy it. If not then don't.
 

MARTI PELLOW - CLOSE TO YOU
MARTI PELLOW - SMILE
 

Enough to make you sick.
 

MELT BANANA - SPEAK SQUEAK CREAK
 

Yes. This is the ticket. Japanese and noisy. The shape of the future is banana shaped. And pink. Mmm. Not their greatest work. If you know what is then buy this too.
 

MIDGE URE - BENEATH A SPIELBERG SKY
 

Someone will buy this. His mum probably. If she's still alive. He should've stopped with Slik though.
 

MILES DAVIS - ESSENTIAL
 

five seconds of trumpet. hardly worth it.
 

NEIGHBOURS - NEGATIVE ATTRACTION
 

Whose idea was this. I mean they dabbled with the idea before. I recall Jane and Harold in a spoof version of the theme tune. Something about drinking cups of tea and coffee. Awful. This is worse. There is no attraction. In fact, does anyone still watch this? Presumably The Weakest Link has taken it's fair share of the former audience...
 

NICK CAVE - NO MORE SHALL WE PART
 

Cave vocal-farts down a glued up mic for too long. The novelty wore off when Leonard Cohen was still doing this. Nick should stick to playing with ex-members of the above collective.
 

NICK DRAKE / ELTON JOHN - SWEET SUGGESTIONS
 

What on earth is this? No, they didn't dig up Nick to record a duet with Elton. Instead a team of experts have endeavoured to recreate Nick's temperamental genius using a computer program. Elton sings and the computer responds in a Drake-like fashion. The effects are truly startling. But not worth £15. Try and tape it off Tomorrow's World or something if it bothers you that much.
 

OCEAN COLOUR SCENE - MECHANICAL WONDER
 

Please don't.
 

PREFAB SPROUT - THE GUNMAN AND OTHER STORIES
 

It's taken them a while but they've finally realised that their only song anyone's ever cared about is "The King of Rock and Roll" (hot dog jumping frog etc). Consequently this album is just that, over and over again for 50 minutes. Interesting, but in the end more repetitive than Led Zepp.
 

SHERYL CROW - GLOBE SESSIONS
 

I mean what has she actually done that is even remotely half decent since All I Wanna Do? Hmm? Well this is her playing a guitar in a steel works. For die hard fans only.
 

STRANGLERS - THE U.A SINGLES 77-79
 

The people of the U.A. are big Stranglers fans, and this box-set of alternate versions of little known hits is a treat if you care. I don't.
 

STRANGLERS - VIDEO COLLECTION 77-82
 

Watch them play Golden Brown in a bad set, or No More Heroes on TOTP. If you get your kicks this way then I don't care. What you do in the privacy of your own home etc...
 

STRATIVARIUS - INTERMISSION
 

It's been a while, but the violin god returns with this rip-roaring electrified album in the post-Zappa mold. But is it any good? Sadly not.
 

STRETCH ARMSTRONG - SPIT
 

One for the children. Don't give in to them.
 

VELVET UNDERGROUND - AN INTRO TO.16TR.PROMO ALBUM WITH TRACD
 

One of their most forgotten works, .16TR. Promo Album With Tracy occupied five wax cylinders and consequent sold in the order of one, which Lou Reed bought. This is a condensation of the work on a CD. John Cale had left by this time. Our advice is as such to avoid.
 

WILLIE NELSON - RAINBOW CONNECTION
WILLIE NELSON - SPIRIT
 

Never confuse the platted-bearded one with the bloke from Be-Bop Deluxe. This is all we have to say on the matter.

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