BABYSHAM - EPISODE  6  (GREEN BUTTON FEED)

10 - INT 11 - JADE'S HOUSE - THURSDAY NIGHT (CONT)

BABYSHAM
Ok. I've made a decision.

JADE
Holy Mary, Mother of God.

BABYSHAM
We will investigate the curious 
death of Jason Donovan.

LEON
Oh goody.

ALAN
What about Stew?

LEON
We could leave a note
for if he comes back.

BABYSHAM
And if he's got himself into trouble,
well it's not like he's going to be going very far.

JADE
Oh. Well that's alright then.

Another shot of the twitching feet in the red shoes.

Wipe to:

11 - EXT 35 - LOVE LANE - THURSDAY NIGHT

Long pan across the "Woollens for Signs" red neon in the rain. Pull back to reveal the four of them looking up at the sign (top-half shot only; nothing below the waist). Dramatic music. 
Babysham leads the way down a dark cobbled lane to a back entrance to some factory building. The only legs we see in this shot should be Babysham's.

12 - INT 42 - MADAME GALENA'S BALLET STUDIO - DAY

We are in a massive brilliant-white room (near limbo). The walls are mirrored to make shooting very tricky (put cameras behind one way glass). One wall has a bar along it for doing ballet. We want a lot of light coming in, to an almost unnatural degree. Like I say: near limbo. Think "2001 stargate". Appropriately desolate soundtrack.

A bent, bespectacled French harridan (Galena) approaches from the distance carrying a green wine bottle. She is played by Julia Carlin (aged by latex), but her voice is provided by Juliette Binoche.

GALENA
Ah. Babysham.
So you received my message.

BABYSHAM
This message?

Leon and Alan drop the corpse of Jason onto the floor. The blood is very red. The feet are still dancing.

GALENA
He's dead?

BABYSHAM
Lost control and hit a window. I told you he 
didn't have the stamina. But you wouldn't see.

GALENA
If only I had listened.
I thought the shoes would temper him.
How wrong I was.

Galena walks away, right.

GALENA
Fetch him over to the console.

Follow her to reveal a Tardis console in the centre of the room. She puts the bottle down a bootle-sized shute in it and it smashes. 
Leon and Alan drag the corpse across leaving a trail of blood. The trail should curve beautifully.

GALENA
Put him up here.

They heave him onto the desk, and push him right onto the middle, where the uppy-downy thing is currently retracted.

GALENA
Let's see...

She flicks a switch and the uppy-downy thing activates.

ALAN
What are you doing?

Up goes Jason, rotating gently...

GALENA
Warming him up.
The shoes may have kept him alive.

Down goes Jason, rotating gently... More crushing glass.

BABYSHAM
Remarkable.

LEON
Anna Barrett?
I thought you were killed
in the Barbican incident...

Up goes Jason. His fingers are twitching in time with his feet. Etc...

GALENA
Appearences are often deceptive.

BABYSHAM
Did I never tell you?
I found out what the Barbican Crush was all about.

LEON
You didn't mention it, no.

GALENA
He's coming round.

BABYSHAM
Remember the stargate?

LEON
Yees...

BABYSHAM
Transcendental pantemporal axis.
MI7 intended to open it by way of a
mass execution event, so as to be
able to access a previous position.

GALENA
He's with us again.

JASON
I feel terrible.

GALENA
Remove his shoes.

Jade obliges.

LEON
So they killed a lot of people
to travel through time?

BABYSHAM
Pretty much.

LEON
I shall have to remember that.

BABYSHAM
It's not as simple as that.
It's to do with gallons of fresh 
blood and mercury. 

JASON
Madame Galena, I have failed you.

The "Madame" comes at the same time as the "Madame" in the red stream.

GALENA
Au contraire.
You brought them here
just as I asked.

JASON
Yes. I did.

LEON
So how did Anna escape alive?

GALENA
By coexisting at an infinite number
of points in time, I was able to circumvent
the laws of causality. I was trapped in the
stargate as a giant space baby.
 

LEON
Right.

ALAN
A lot like me and Babysham.

LEON
So could the others be alive too?

BABYSHAM
You mean Esteban, Craig and Jim Two?
It's possible. But largely accademic.
I expect we're all in the stargate somewhere.

GALENA
The difficulty comes in leaving.

LEON
Right.

BABYSHAM
So what was it you wanted, Madame Galena?

GALENA
I have foreseen a grave tragedy.

BABYSHAM
Oh yes?

GALENA
There is an excess of Gods in this city.

BABYSHAM
An excess?

GALENA
I'm feeling somewhere in the region of five.

BABYSHAM
That does seem rather a lot of Gods, really.

LEON
So what's with the Madame Galena thing?

GALENA
When you have lived as many times as I, 
you sometimes fancy a change, Leon.

ALAN
So is five Gods a bad thing?

GALENA
Usually. They get together
there's a tendency for them to
get a bit carried away with themselves.

JASON
Can somebody get me a glass of water?

GALENA
Jade, be a dear... Over there.

JADE
How come you know my name?

Jade goes across the room to a Victorian water pump (painted white). A simple glass sits on the grate beneath it.

GALENA
When you have lived as many times as I,
you get to have a talent for such things.

JADE
Right.

She pumps a glass of water.

BABYSHAM
Madame Galena has many talents.

The "Madame"s sync up again.

GALENA
You have seen my brother recently.
But he has erred in his conduct.

Jade passes Jason the water, and he sips.

ALAN
Erred?

Leon sits down on the floor.

GALENA
Your reprogramming contains
significant liberties taken by Jim
under a state of advanced hypnosis.

BABYSHAM
I had sensed this, but couldn't see how.

GALENA
It can be undone.

BABYSHAM
By you?

GALENA
Not I. I have no talents in that field.

BABYSHAM
Then who?

GALENA
MI7.

LEON
Are they still going?

GALENA
You didn't know?

LEON
I'd... no.

ALAN
I'd no idea.

BABYSHAM
Of course they're still going.
Why would they not be?

ALAN
Fair enough.

JADE
Who are we on about?

BABYSHAM
MI7 are an intelligence organisation
specialising in extra-dimensional surveillance.
It would be taking quite a risk to get them to
reprogram me though. They might double cross us.

GALENA
MI7 can be trusted.

LEON
They can?

GALENA
I have sensitive information
that will ensure their compliance.

LEON
Oh god...

ALAN
Won't that be asking for trouble?

GALENA
Never show your cards until they're needed, dear.

JADE
What are these "liberties", anyway?

GALENA
Hard to say. Certain actions have been forced
by powers beyond Babysham's control.

BABYSHAM
Letitia was cribbing me, I'm sure.
And now I understand how.

LEON
So Jim screwed your programming
so you'd serve this Letitia?

BABYSHAM
Yeah.

LEON
Is Jim alright?

GALENA
My brother will be fine.
The hypnotic effects will 
certainly be shortlived.

ALAN
Guess we'd better get you off to MI7 then.

JADE
Where are they based?

GALENA
There's a local branch.

BABYSHAM
Ok then.

The end of this scene coincides with the end of the scene on the red stream.

13 - EXT 37 - BOWER SPRING - c.9am

Track through the ruined building there and then out into the street, to slowly reveal GB Posters as if it were some nightmarish vampire castle. Perhaps quote Dracula Mountain again. We track in as Babysham, Alan, Jade and Leon appear from Spring Street.

BABYSHAM
This is it.

LEON
No kidding.

Babysham pushes the gate, tentatively. It squeaks like it's in a horror film. He looks at the others and then heads in. Fade to black (to coincide again).

14 - INT 44 - MI7 LOBBY - MORNING

The four enter a not entirely unfriendly corporate foyer area (perhaps something from the Cultural Quarter will suit us). We scoot about them with hand-held agility as they look about the place and approach a reception desk. No-one is there. Distant music: Deerhoof - Giga Dance. 

Shot of a desk-bell as Babysham's hand enters and presses. Ting.
From behind the desk appears:

TIM
(Burt Kwouk)
Ah... customers!

If it were an American sit-com, there'd be a cheap applause here. But it isn't, so we just have Babysham looking peeved.

Tim wears a velvet smoking cap and Imperial Chinese jacket. 

BABYSHAM
Hi. I'm looking to be reprogrammed.
Don't suppose there's anyone round here can do me?

TIM
Third door on your light, sir.

BABYSHAM
Thankyou.

They walk along a corridor to the riff of Giga Dance. As they reach the door, they stop and we get the chungy twangs in the music. Then we end the music, and Babysham knocks at the door. As he knocks, the door slides right with a "pfsht". Leon looks up then rolls his eyes. Alan grins. We see through the doorway, into:

15 - INT 45 - DR. CHRIS'S SURGERY - CONT.

Chris (...tian Slater) is sat at a desk full of scary implements. He wears a white coat. Behind him, at a computer, is a busty blonde Benny Hill nurse in a rediculously short and tight uniform. At the centre of the room is a dentist's chair.

CHRIS
Oh, hello there!

BABYSHAM
Hello. Are you really qualified to do this?

CHRIS
Oh yes.

BABYSHAM
No-one else to do it?

CHRIS
Well there's Saddam,
but he's booked up till three.

BABYSHAM
Ok.

Babysham gets on the chair. Alan, Jade and Leon discretely leave the room.

BABYSHAM
So how are you?

CHRIS
Not so bad. Yourself?

BABYSHAM
Jim got hypnotised and
reprogrammed me in an
unprofessional way.

CHRIS
Well you can rest safe.
I've given up the demon hypnosis.

BABYSHAM
Right. So what do we do then?

CHRIS
You just sit there. This shouldn't hurt a bit.

The nurse passes Chris a big choppy butcher's knife thing, and Chris thwacks it into Babysham's forehead. Spurt of blood. Top of Babysham's head spins away.

16 - INT 44 - LOBBY - CONT

ALAN
I'm sure everything will be alright.

LEON
You keep telling yourself that.

The three glance at the walls, where posters of people being disturbingly happy and contented (sort of '50s sub-urban utopia stuff, but more modern) look back at them with moving eyes. CU: Leon's eyes look left and right. Wider shot of Leon acquiring the pose of a tree.

LEON
I'm a tree!

CU: of Leon nodding and smiling in a satisfied manner. 

Quantel bouncing ball effect (or better) from Leon's face to:

17 - INT 28 - TERRACED HOUSE IN DARNALL - DAY

Chris, in his sweeping white coat, and carrying a cordless drill like a hand-gun, sweeps majesitcally down the stairs. Crane shot. As he reaches the bottom of the stairs, he keeps his back to where he has been, and detectives his way around the corner.

18 - INT 46 - LAPLAND SEMI, KITCHEN - DAY

The kitchen that we saw in Ep2. The internal door bursts open, and Chris charges in, with his drill pointing in all directions. Satisfied it is clear, he starts rooting through cupboards. He eventually pulls out a box of pop tarts, and puts one in the toaster. He reads the back of the box, still carrying his drill, and casually kicks the door through to the outside.

19 - EXT 10 - LAPLAND SEMI - DAY

The snow has been replaced with sand. We hear wind on the microphones. Chris looks about the patio, which is shot so that we can't see the sun-lounger. 

POV shot to reveal a seemingly empty sun-lounger, partly obscured by the parasol. Chris puts the pop tarts box on the windowsill, raises his drill and approaches quietly.

As he reaches the parosol, he suddenly whips it asside to reveal, with his back to us, the Mel Sterland Dwarf from Ep3. The dwarf is listening to a dictaphone player with headphones, and is oblivious to all behind him. He wears Jackie O sunglasses and a red duffle-coat. The dwarf grooves on down to the music coming through the headphones.

Chris approaches the dwarf. Various dramatic shots as he edges closer. The drill bit is spinning (ECU). Build up tension. Innocent face of dwarf. Menacing face of Chris. Prelap noises from next scene and cut to:

20 - INT 44 - MI7 LOBBY - DAY

ECU of pernod, lemonade, raspberries and sponge-cake being blended by a hand-blender. When we pull out, it is being operated by Tim. Tim pours out the blended mixture into a cocktail shaker which he pulls out from behind his desk. He closes the shaker and begins to shake it about all Tom Cruise -like. Leon, Alan and Jade are sat at our side of the desk on bar-stools. Jade leans on her arm on the desk, etc.

Tim is doing really well, and is about to catch the shaker and pour its contents out into a martini glass, but he drops the partially opened shaker and the contents spill out onto the floor.

Reddish liquid seeps along the cracks of the grey-tiled floor towards the door of Chris's surgery. Tilt up to see the door.
The door slides open at pace to reveal Babysham. He has a full bandage over his head, fastened with a safety pin (a la The Germans). He looks a little boz-eyed and out of it. Chris appears beside him, carrying his blooded drill. It drips blood into the raspberry/pernod stuff on the floor, as Babysham steps forward (in his motorbike boots).

JADE
Is he alright?

CHRIS
He's a little out of it right now...
...the anaesthetic needs to wear off.

ALAN
But you've sorted out the dodgy program?

CHRIS
Cleaned out.

He raises his drill and runs it, splattering bits of brain about the place.

LEON
Lovely.

JADE
Jim seemed to have a really
very different approach to this sort of thing.

CHRIS
Yeah. Jim takes a more technical psychoanalytical approach.
I prefer the more hands on stuff. I like to hack at the drum...
get to the real heart of things. It's messier, but it's fool proof.

LEON
As you've aptly proven.

CHRIS
Yeah.

ALAN
Well thankyou very much.
Do we owe you anything?

CHRIS
Old friends and previous employees
such as yourselves? Seventeen 
pounds fifty three. He pays for his
mental treatment, I take it?

ALAN
Yes. Could we have a receipt with that?

Shot of the vacant Babysham.

21 - EXT 38 - DOG & PARTRIDGE - DAY

Establish.

22 - INT 49 - DOG & PARTRIDGE - NOONISH

We're in the JFK lounge, but don't really shoot more than our cast at first, so that we build a slow reveal of the calibre of decor.
Johnny Cash Live at Folsom Prison plays over. Leon, Babysham, Alan and Jade sit against the most ordinary wall in the room. Each has a partially drunk pint of Guinness. Leon is reading G2. Babysham is still out of it a bit. He is still bandaged.

Leon turns the page.

ALAN
You feeling better yet, Babysham?

BABYSHAM
Mmm? Oh. Yes. Er...
Feel a bit invaded, you know...
I don't think Chris was quite as...
respectful of my psyche. He's bashed
it about a bit. I've got a bruised psyche.
It makes thinking hurt slightly.

ALAN
But you're feeling better...

BABYSHAM
Better. Better. Yes. Better.
Batter better bitter botter butter...

LEON
He's good that Chris, i'n't he...

ALAN
Hmm.

BABYSHAM
Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

LEON
Give him a bit more Guinness.

Alan guides Babysham's hand to his pint. Makes it grip. Babysham instinctively raises it to his mouth.

ALAN
Get it down you. It's good for you.

Only a very small amount of spillage. He continues to drink. He downs the pint. He lowers the glass to the table but with such force that it smashes. Just before it smashes:

JADE
What do you think Madame 
Galena meant by five Gods?

ALAN
Ah.

BABYSHAM
Whoops.

Alan single handedly tries to gather together the broken glass. Babysham sits there bleeding slightly from his hand. Leon is still reading the paper (which is that day's G2, ie 7th October). Babysham slowly removes a slither of glass from his hand and then sits there gazing at the way the light plays off the residual blood. He moves it about in front of his face, entranced. Leon is still looking at the paper as he speaks:

LEON
There's no shortage of gods out there.
Elohim, Tosh, Stew, Lucy...

ALAN
Lucy's a god?

LEON
Technically speaking.
It's a loose brief.

JADE
That's only four.

LEON
Well she said about five.
But this Satan fellow would
probably scrape through for starters.

ALAN
But are you saying then that God
and Tosh are both in town?

LEON
No. Like I say, there's
a lot of gods. I'm not going to
list all of them. None of them
really exist anyway. All just
a construct. Like this place.

This is our cue for our first broader shot. Nothing too long, because we still don't want to draw too much attention yet to the decor.

ALAN
But for us they exist.

Leon puts down his paper.

LEON
Well yes. And being gods...
they're the only force in this
realm that can cause you harm.

JADE
Sounds like reason for concern to me.

LEON
Gods are very hard to track down.

JADE
Is there no way we can do it?

LEON
Not without a magic bead.

ALAN
I have a magic bead.

LEON
Oh.

Alan gets out a green glass bead, like the kind middle class households have in dishes, or Magic the Gathering types might use as counters.

ALAN
A mysterious gypsy lady sold it me.
It's real glass. For luck.

LEON
Yes. Well I'm going to have to
smash it, you know...

ALAN
Oh.

LEON
Is that alright?

ALAN
Well it's for our own protection, I suppose.

LEON
Good. We need a map too.

ALAN
I've not got one of them.

LEON
Right. well we'd better go and find one.
Is there a book shop or something near here?

ALAN
Yeah.

LEON
Ok then. Let's go.

Everyone drinks up. Babysham puts the glass shard in his pocket as he gets up.
As they leave, we get the best view yet of the decor: it's some sort of shrine to John F Kennedy, with press clippings and photos and stuff. As they leave they pass a large framed portrait of him, and we stay fixed on that as they exit shot. 
Over this, the CD sticks.

JOHNNY CASH (ON CD)
...shot a shot shot shot shot am
shot am am shot shot man shot
man shot a man in Reno, just to
watch him die...

PRISONERS (ON CD)
Whey!!

We stick with Folsom Prison Blues on the soundtrack as we move to the next scene.

23 - EXT 1 - SNIG HILL & ENVIRONS - DAY

Note: this scene follows directly from the scene in the red stream.
Crane shot of brickwork miner. Pull out / left and establish Babysham's offices and the Police Station. Then arc around, with the Woollens for Signs sign and the Ski Slope in the background. Long arcing track that eventually settles on Peel House. Over it we have:

JOHN PEEL (VO)
Just after 12:30pm, and I've arrived in 
Hell for the Halloween holiday period. 

We track around the building, passing Peel & Co, and zoom in on John Peel, who is outside the Court House carrying plastic bags full of Halloweenish items. He wears a Walkman.

JOHN PEEL (VO)
The bags I was carrying, containing all
the Halloween presents: mars bars,
smarties, milky bar buttons and numerous
other things, were extremely heavy. Emma, 
my sister, should be showing up tomorrow.

John struggles along West Bar. We see the Fire Museum in the background.

JOHN PEEL (VO)
I'm still listening to Adam Bohman's
"Music and Words" on my Walkman.
Shreaded wheat, bran flakes, toast and 
a cup of oxo have been consumed.

He struggles to cross Corporation Street.

JOHN PEEL (VO)
With the exception of tortoise shell and siam,
all puss-cats must be soaked for eight hours before
cooking in the microwave.  Be sure to use a container 
large enough to allow for further swelling during cooking, 
and top up with more boiling water if required.
Always cut off the cat's head and degut it, keeping
the head for fishstock or Flossie.

Fade to black.

24 - EXT 36 - DEVONSHIRE GREEN - DAY

Open with a crane shot. Lots of crowds (eagle eyed viewers will see both sets of our heroes in the crowd, with this stream's lot over on the north side). Closer on Alan, Leon, Babysham and Jade as they feel their way through. Jade holds Babysham's hand to keep him on track.

JADE
What's with all the crowds, I wonder.

ALAN
No idea.

LEON
God's on a state visit.

ALAN
How'd you know that?

LEON
I listen.

ALAN
Isn't God visiting Hell a bit dangerous?

LEON
That's why they keep it quiet.

ALAN
Then how do these lot know?

JADE
I think I saw something about it 
in the Star, thinking about it.

They reach Rare & Racy.

ALAN
Right then... it's this or Waterstones now.

LEON
This looks like it'll do.

They enter. Babysham looking about like a school-boy.

25 - INT 48 - UPSTAIRS, RARE & RACY - DAY

They come up the stairs.
In the corner is a desk with some staff member sitting there, reading Nietzche. We don't look in that corner unless we have to.

ALAN
There's maps there, and local stuff over there.

LEON
Right. Ooh and chess books.

Leon heads to the window and starts rummaging through the chess books. Babysham drifts to the window and stares out. Jade finds a middle table with a large map spread over it.

JADE
How about this?

LEON
Hmm?

JADE
A map.

LEON
Right. Hang on.

He checks a pocket watch, then comes over. As he approaches, he does his impression of the pope on a theremin, and provides apropriate vocalisations:

LEON
Wooweeoo.
Right then. Get your bead out, Alan.

ALAN
Already have.

Jade has slid it over Devonshire Green. Babysham is still staring out the window, but is fingering something in his pocket. POV shot of the parade route with police motorbikes approaching.

26 - EXT 36 - DEV GREEN - DAY

An armour-plated open-top Citroën 2CV trundles slowly along the road between adoring crowds. There are police motorbikes at each end. GOD (comp-gen Dennis Potter with the voice of Brian Blessed) waves a bit from the back seat of the car, as does JACKIE (Julia Sawalha), a Jackie O character. The car's driver wears a cowl which obscures his face.
 
 

GOD
Look at them all... Like ants... 

High shot of crowds.

GOD (VO)
Would you really feel any pity if one
of those little dots stopped moving forever?
I'm just an author, killing off my characters
to give you an entertaining roller coaster ride.

27 - INT 48 - RARE & RACY - DAY

LEON
We need something heavy 
to break the magic bead.

Alan and Jade look at each other. They look about the place.

ALAN
I don't think I have anything...

JADE
Me neither.

ALAN
Would a book do it?
I don't suppose it'd have the heft.

LEON
(looking at Babysham)
It's alright. I have this.

He produces a gun.

LEON
Here we go then:
One two three...

He pounds the bead with the butt of the gun but it does not break the bead. At the point of impact, Babysham jabs the glass shard into his laser eye. This goes un-noticed by Alan, Jade and Leon, and is only at the edge of our shot. The bead shoots across the room and is caught by Jade.

LEON
Where did that go?

Jade raises the bead to the light. Red laser light glints off it.

JADE
It didn't break.

28 - EXT 36 - DEV GREEN: DIVISION STREET - DAY

In the 2CV:
The cowled driver speaks with a familiar voice, and we catch a slight glimpse of his face in the rear view mirror:

ALEX
(Vincent Perez)
I had an ant farm as a kid,
back in Canada. But they got
too big for the tank and my mom
made me empty the kettle over them.

29 - INT 48 - RARE & RACY - DAY

Leon has pulled from his pocket some special ammo and loads it into his gun. 

LEON
I'll load the gun up with
ammo to make it a bit heavier.

The bead is back on the map. Red laser light glints along the route of the road as if making steady progress along the parade route. Other dots of laser light show up on the skate-board park, and a further dot shines over the book shop.
Just as Leon is about to bring the gun down on the bead, he turns and shoots out of the window (which smashes brilliantly) four times.

The next scene pre-laps.

30 - EXT 36 - DEV GREEN: DIV STREET - DAY

ALEX
It was great fun. You could hear them screaming.

This scene is shot from the back seat. Hand-held, wide-angle.
As he says "great" we get the gunfire in the previous scene (due to the pre-lap), and the smash of glass. As he says "hear", we hear a tearing sound. As he says "screaming" he collapses forwards slightly in acute pain. God is lined up in such a way that he is between Alex and the window of Rare & Racy, in approximate line with the Skate Park. The back of God's head flies away, and his chest explodes with blood and mercury. Jackie is covered in splatter and gore. She shrieks.
Camera goes chaotic as the enormity of the situation wears in. Two aides: Gabriel (Gabriel Byrne) and (a different) Helen (Julia Davis) run up to the car and fuss about. Ad-lib.

From this point on, the soundtrack is highly muffled like it's underwater or something, and a growing Eraserhead throb will merge with it and eventually drown it out.

Above all the chaos we catch the broken window, where the blooded Babysham stands. His eye is going supernova. Alan and Jade rush up to the window to survey the commotion. Leon is not seen. Alan and Jade appear suitably shocked. The light from Babysham's eye dances across their faces. Babysham himself appears vancant.

Meanwhile, Alex is clutching his stomach. His cowl is down. He is in great pain. We can just about make out:

ALEX
Nooo. Not again...

Massive amounts of blood spill into his hands.

Police are trying to control the crowds. Robert Winston (Alistair McGowan doing his Groucho Marx thing) is brought to the scene to offer his medical advice to the very dead God. Meanwhile Jackie is shocked and apoplectic.

Back up to the window. Jade is mopping up blood from Babysham's face with a tissue.

31 - INT 48 - RARE & RACY - AFTERNOON

Alan looking about, sees that Leon has gone. Ad-lib.
Note that the staff member in the corner is still reading his book in ignorance. Note also that the gun remains on the desk.

32 - EXT 36 - DEV GREEN : DIV STREET - AFTERNOON

Distantly shot: 
A policeman stands by the door. Leon comes out. He says something to the policeman. They converse for a moment. Then Leon drifts away into the crowd.

At the side of the road, STEVE LAMACQ sits on the kerb wearing a pacamac. This is not central to the shot. There are other people about the place, visibly upset (this scene synched with red stream).

Stew appears through the crowd. He is clearly anxious. He dashes out into the road to the 2CV. Armed police click onto him and a red dot of light shines on his forehead. He doesn't stop at all, but he is recognised, and the weapons are dropped. As he runs up to the car, we crane up. Alan appears at the doorway to Rare & Racy but is stopped from going further by a (different) policeman. We see Jade and Babysham still upstairs in Rare & Racy. From high up in a soaring pan, we see the skate park, where Tinker is tentatively kicking the dead corpse of Bhuvana, and Letitia is hammering on the chest of the equally dead David, all a-sob.

Slowly, and not initially apparent, we begin to follow the route of a figure in the crowd. It is Leon making his escape.
Intercut with shots in the thick of the crowd. Shoot like a chase sequence.
Slowly reveal that he is apparently being pursued by someone. It is STEVE DAVIS carrying a cue case.

33 - EXT 37 - BARKER'S POOL - AFTERNOON

Leon just about loses Steve. Near the taxi-rank, Leon spots a pop-up urinal. He looks about then gets in. He bashes it in a particular manner, and it retracts into the street with Leon inside it. Steve appears in shot directly opposite us behind the urinal as it folds into the earth. He sees nothing and is visibly annoyed.

34 - INT 50 - LONG LOST TUNNEL

Leon steps out of the tubular urinal thing and into a long lost tunnel. It is red brick, and partly infilled with rubble. He produces a small but effective pocket torch and looks about. He knocks some rubble away and makes a path through.

He pulls a scrap of paper from inside his coat and shines a light on it. It is evidently some sort of map.
He puts the map away again and presses on, clambouring over the rubble. Bits of tunnel fall in in puffs of dust and stones.

35 - INT 53 - LONG LOST SUBWAY

After a while, the brick tunnel gives way to a wider neglected subway, complete with 60s decor, all crumbly. Leon shines his light about. It is clear that the old tunnel was hidden behind a concrete wall slab that has now been broken. Leon shines each way along the subway. Dark nothingness. The floor is about a foot in water and the rubble is still very much about the place.

Leon presses on along the tunnel, trying to keep his footing in the stale water and rubble (to make matters worse, he wears no shoes). Occasionally, the odd rat scurries by.

In the darkness, Leon finds some sort of electrics box on the wall. He breaks into it with a pen-knife and fiddles about. Suddenly, the sound of electrics starting and lights flicking into life. The lights turn on in succession along the subway for about a yard or two and then suddenly open out into a huge circle of lights spreading around some grand circular concrete arena that is:

36 - INT 54 - THE HOLE IN THE ROAD - (AFTERNOON)

About half the lights are dead and those that are left are in a bad state (full of algae, and flickery), but they have illuminated a huge open underground plaza with a number of other subways radiating from it. In the walls are sealed up kiosks. The room is very dark and very eerie in the flickering neon. Water drips from frizzling lights into the lake that is the floor. Little islands of rubble cast pretty shadows in the water.

The soundtrack has by now taken on the characteristics of a subterannean world. We get the impression of traffic passing over us by occasional throbbings in the rumble. We also get wet noises.

Leon steps into the arena, looking about. As he reaches the centre, he gently rotates, arms outstretched. The torch creates beautiful patterns of light. We pan around parts of the set as they are illuminated by this process.

The soundtrack builds to a crescendo. Shot of Leon's face as it is gradually bathed in natural light and then in flame light. 
Long shot: Leon still spins but is looking up at the roof caving in. Lots of rubble. A flaming bus. Daylight. The remnants of a not unlarge explosion. 

There is a rain of fire and rubble. Some of the fire is attached to oil, which lands in flaming puddles on the lake. Leon gently circles forwards and disappears into an evidently deeper section of the floor (enough to consume him totally). As Leon falls out of view (gracefully), the roof caves in totally, and the exploded, flaming bus crashes down into the arena. The camera shakes with the impact as the lake surface ignites. 

Then, if that weren't enough, a tram trundles over the hole and crashes down into the abyss.

This impact seems to ignite some gas in the chamber, and there is a brilliant explosion that boils the water and takes out the camera.
Shot from the newly emeriging circular rim of the hole: the explosion flares up and blasts past us into the world. Rubble shoots up with it, and after a moment, the camera is taken up in the draft also. It spins about the place taking in the environs of:

37 - EXT 41 - CASTLE SQUARE - AFTERNOON

The camera has blasted to about 100 yards or more in the air, and the music explodes into a gentle Philip Glass piece. The camera then parachutes down alongside the flaming column, spinning gently and showing us the buildings around the area. Windows are shattered. There is chaos all about. And in the centre is this column of flaming gas going up about 100 yards and glowing a greenish hue. The column is reducing because there isn't an infinite amount of fuel. But this is not so noticable as the camera is falling to the earth at the same rate.

38 - INT 54 - HOLE IN THE ROAD - AFTERNOON

From a camera point in a radial tunnel, we watch as the greenish orange glow of gas gradually disperses/converges towards the centre of the chamber. As it fades away it reveals, there at the centre, the flaming wreck of the bus, which acts as a girderwork base for a glittering vertical stainless-steel tram-frame. The flames have cleaned up the metal and it is now a really pretty sculpture. The remains of the bus glow orange and there is fire at the heart of the sculpture. The floor is a sea of oil that is burning beautifully.

We track in a circle around this central sculpture. Heads of slightly charred members of the public appear over the horizon of the hole, staring down into the chamber. One of them is clearly John Peel. The crowds slowly increase.

At the base of the sculpture, in its centre, water begins to spout upwards, dousing the flames. Then, from the spouting water we see the head of Leon, all wet, eyes shut. The platform he is on rotates in the opposite direction to the camera movement. As his face comes into view and his head emerges from the water fully, Leon opens his eyes to stare straight into the camera.

Crane shot from the rim of the hole, as Leon rises up through the heart of the sculpture, rotating slowly. The camera maintains its own circular movement. As Leon rises, the camera lowers. As we get lower we see that Leon is stood on a stainless steel helix base that is rising up from the ground. His arms are crossed over his chest. His eyes are still shut on this camera.

Shot from the base of the sculpture as the platform takes Leon to road height and beyond. As Leon hits the atmosphere, his coat billows in the wind, and he opens his arms into a cruciform pose.

Darkness begins to envelope the scene, and we see a dark disc eating into the circle of sky. A huge flying saucer is manouvering itself overhead. It is a similar specification to the one from ANS 7.

From the edge of the saucer, a white-metal sheath ring begins to descend. Note that we are looking almost straight up, so this will be hard to make out. The saucer is rotating as all saucers should. Leon's coat is billowing massively.

At the centre of the base of the saucer, a hole emerges shining a brilliant blue-white light straight at us. Now this shot is beginning to look vaguely like Hal from 2001. 

Leon pulls in his arms and is presumably entering the ship. As the pedastal he is on impacts with the hole in the ship, we have a pretty flaring corona of light and then no light at all (apart from the natural light and the flames, of course; and lights on the outside of the saucer, no doubt). The ship spins faster on its base and then whizzes off with a white flash.

It is now the turn of the camera (in this central position) to rise up the interior of the sculpture, which now extends a good way into the air thanks to the double-helix pedastol. As we spiral up we tilt and begin to look over towards Park Hill and beyond. As we get higher up the sculpture we crane backwards to get a view of the spiral in front of Park Hill.

We zoom beyond Park Hill to Manor Top and the Lodge. We somehow pan around to the window where we started this episode.
 
 

39 - INT 40 - MANOR LODGE - CLOSE TO DUSK

Babysham shuts his book again, takes the remote control, points it at the screen (which shows this very footage) and presses pause.
The main footage pauses, but the insert screen continues (the screen on the insert shows Scene 6:8 in reverse).

[INSERT:

Babysham turns around to face us. He unwraps a Penguin chocolate bar, bites a bit off and chews. He smiles cunningly. He winks at camera, then lasers it out with his eye. For this we will mix in genuine footage of a camera burning out due to laser exposure, adapted as required.]

The insert screen (which started off as the fireplace) sets on fire (despite the pause effect).
Slowly, the (scan-line ridden, video-paused) filmstock melts in the heat of the fire. 

Subtly mix to:

40 - EXT 33 - MANOR TOP - CLOSE TO DUSK

A very white sky. Tilt to incorperate the edge of a sunset. A V-formation of geese fly straight down the shot towards the orange tinge and beyond. They usher in a reverse credits roll (red and black text; just the cast for this stream). As the credit's roll, the sky gets darker and the credits lighter. Music: Pulp - "My First Wife"

After the credits, cut to a blue card with a white address on it (left justify):
 

Rt. Hon. David Blunkett MP
Department 7
Military Intelligence 
Main Street
Fulford
York

CONTINUITY ANNOUNCER (VO)
If you have been affected in any way 
by the issues raised in this programme
you should immediately send a hand-written
confession describing your experience to:
The Right Honourable David Blunkett MP,
Department Seven, Military Intelligence,
Main Street, Fulford, York.
Shop as usual.

The screen sucks into the black abyss of a switched-off cathode ray (complete with the whistle of cooling valves).
 
 

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