BABYSHAM

BabySham initially appears to be an ordinary computer science student, but soon turns out to be an android cyborg killing machine thing: an aborted Microsoft experiment of some kind; DARYL with attitude or something like that. 

He is a bounty hunter of some talent, turned private investigator. 
 

  
EPISODE 0
Last night, Babysham was drinking Aftershock, and he got very drunk indeed. So drunk was he that he threw up over a printer terminal. He now lies comatose in his bed. As he reaches his second day under the sheets, the police begin searching for a similar looking man, wanted for murder. When Babysham does finally emerge he has undergone a curious metamorphasis. No longer is he a seemingly human, computer science studying geek. Now he is an armour-plated cyborg killing-machine, promoting Microsoft by nefarious means. It is his duty to kill all non-Windows users. Their only hope is Leon, who engages Babysham in a chaotic laser fight, only for both of them to get blown up in a massive kitchen-explosion.

EPISODE 1
Babysham is rebuilt by Siddor, and given the task of capturing Princess Rae. Which he does. He is then ordered to destroy the entire cast. He starts well, but is distracted by and episode of Home and Away, and ends up presenting a game of Fifteen to One.

EPISODE 2
When Laura realises that the Fifteen to One prize (the Crystal of Enderon) has been stolen, the game is abandoned, and Babysham winds up taking a job as henchman to God's great rival: Tosh. But he loses his master, and joins his old colleagues to track him down. When the security footage from Fifteen to One arrives, he sees that his companions were the ones who comitted the crime that left him jobless, and he insists that Stew is tried for his crimes. This leads to Stew's execution. In the subsequent re-tuning of their televisual universe, Babysham loses his head in an explosion at Grange Hill Comprehensive. Stew pays tribute to his fallen friend / enemy.

EPISODE 3
In a debriefing session, Leon outlines his belief that Babysham is involved in a lead-crystal decanter smuggling ring. But he is unsure of the android's whereabouts, and so employs a selection of bounty-hunters to track him down.

EPISODE 4
Babysham saves his old friends by shooting Siddor, and then proceeds to complain about how none of them remembered his birthday, and how he wasn't even in the last episode. Stew placates Babysham by allowing him his own special birthday episode set in the Caribbean. Unfortunately for Babysham, a few minutes into the episode he gets blown up. To drown his sorrows, he goes swimming with dolphins, and becomes a dolphin himself. But that's all just a badly scripted fantasy.

EPISODE 5
At some point before all of this, at least from an outside perspective, Babysham operated as a bounty-hunter, and was employed (presumably by Yoga) to dispatch the Zen Flamenco Dancers. He was also given the task (by Omra) of tutoring Anna Barrett in the ways of bounty hunting.

EPISODE 6
After an apparent spree of mass killing, Babysham meets our heroes on a bus. He agrees to help them train for their inevitable battle with Siddor, by lending them his lorry and teaching them archery.

EPISODE 7
Roped into the inevitable battle with Siddor, Babysham gets himself killed. He sets up a private investigation firm in Hell, where he is aided by Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

EPISODE 8
Babysham and Willow are persuaded to help defeat the geese that are holding the Earth to ransom. But Babysham gets stuck in a swamp, and is blown into several agony-filled pieces when the Earth finally explodes.

EPISODE 9
A time anomoly sees Babysham winched out of the swamp. Willow is crushed by the seating in the Barbican, and (by a chain of events that are unclear) BabySham finds himself trapped in a Stargate with his old colleague Alan Quinn. The pair of them are eventually rescued by their friends, and end up on the Planet Musaka. Deciding that their community is short of women, they all go to Planet F34, only to be caught in a standoff with Sarah Michelle Gellar / Lucifer after a working Tardis is located.

BABYSHAM 1
Back in Hell, Babysham re-establishes his detective agency with the help of Alan. He acts as a bodyguard for a local antiques trader called Eugene Mayburn, and ends up wanted for his murder.

BABYSHAM 2
With the help of Mayburn's cousin, Jade, Babysham finds the real murderer. Convinced that there was a greater mystery surrounding Mayburn, Babysham ends up having sex with Mayburn's widow, Letitia, in an abandoned graveyard.

BABYSHAM 3
Following the incident in the graveyard, Babysham succumbs to a debilitating virus, and has to be reprogrammed by Jim Barrett.

BABYSHAM 4
Babysham, Alan and Jade surruptitiously attend a black mass organised by antiques traders. They are spotted, and Babysham is forced to open a curious box that unleashes a quasi-nuclear explosion.

BABYSHAM 5
In search of theological information, Babysham seconds Stew and Leon from Heaven. But Stew ends up being held prisoner by his mother, the Goddess Bhuvana, whose powers were returned to her by the explosion in the last episode.

BABYSHAM 6 (Red)
Babysham, Alan, Jade and Leon set out in search of Stew. They find him and his captors by the side of the road in the middle of a Godly procession. They secure the release of Stew, but then Leon seemingly assasinates God, Bhuvana and Satan. General chaos ensues.

BABYSHAM 6 (Green)
Babysham's ex-student turned mentor, Anna Barrett, informs him that his programming has been compromised by Bhuvana. So he is reprogrammed by MI7. Leon then leads Babysham et al to a bookshop so that they may locate Stew and his captors via a magic bead. Babysham, still in shock from the invasive reprogramming procedure, jams a shard of glass into his laser eye, sending laser light through the magic bead and onto a map, thus pinpointing Stew. Leon then seemingly assasinates God, Bhuvana and Satan. General chaos ensues.