STEW GREGORY JESTER aka "Jesus Christ"

PARENTS - <genetic> Bhuvana & Mary of Nazareth(?); <adoptive> - God; Mr. & Mrs. Gregory Jester
SIBLINGS - Sally-Anne 'Jester' (exact relationship unclear)
CHILDREN - Percy the Pineapple (?) (w. Caroline Burnholme)
PARTNERS - Mary Magdallen, m.Sarah Michelle Gellar, Caroline Burnholme.

 

Stew is the son of God. He mainly resides in Heaven, but popped down to Earth at least twice: once c.1CE and the other c.2000CE. This latter visit seems to have been perpetrated in order to get an education. Stew studied philosophy at the University of York, before he and his colleagues were prematurely blown up.

Before he could resurrect himself, he was spared the trouble by MI7. They gave him and his friends a house, no questions asked. All was fine until they were sucked into a parallel universe.

After struggling aimlessly for a while, and nearly starving to death on a railway track, they wished their way back home with the aid of a monkey's paw. It was at this point that Stew initiated his marriage to actress Sarah Michelle Gellar. It was shortly after this point that they and their friends got sucked into a television, and shortly after this point that Sarah "dusted" Stew for being a vampire (perhaps just a fantasy created by the television world, or maybe a side-effect of being the son of God).

Stew soon met his friends again when they visited him in TV Heaven. But it wasn't long before he was executed for the theft of the Crystal of Enderon. He promptly resurrected himself and the whole incident was forgotten as the team struggled through TV static before winding up in the hypnotic spell of an evil Fred Harris.

Soon after this, Stew was sacked as New Soap script writer. He was temporarily put in charge of Hell, while a demon was sent to Earth in his place. The demon was later killed by Alex, for being a demon. The demon was presumably the father of Percy the Pineapple.

Stew managed to wangle his friends places in Hell before returning to Heaven. There he opened a bookshop with Leon Protznedvic. It was there that he wound up getting dragged through time and space by a book, only to wind up in York at the time of the Goose crisis. There they entered Jim's Tardis and met up with everyone onboard the Barbican.

Soon, Stew and his friends settled on the Planet Musaka, before heading to Planet F34 in search of female company. It was there that Sarah Michelle Gellar / Lucifer insisted that they all return to Hell, or in Stew and Leon's case, Heaven. This they did, returning to their bookshop.

After a phonecall from Babysham, Stew and Leon went to Hell to help him on a case. Stew got kidnapped by his mother, the goddess Bhuvana, who was intent on overthrowing God. But Bhuvana, God and Satan were all shot (apparently dead) by Leon (using god-killing ammo). Stew was last seen tending to the corpse of his step-father, who is technically his (half-) brother. (And people question ANS's soapiness...)