CATHY CARROW and the COOKIE CRUMBS
Lyrics Archive:

Oh Honestly
(Helena Jones & Tony Merrifield)

What do you mean:
"I'm out of your dreams"?
Oh Honestly.
You're being absurd.
Honey, don't say a word.
Oh Honestly.
Can't I leave you alone for one minute?
Walk me home and I might just forget it.

Do that again
And I'll quite likely scream.
Oh Honestly.
How can I trust you?
You're being obscene.
Oh Honestly.
Keep your hands where I can see them.
You tell me you love me
But, darling, I honestly

Don't know what you mean.
You're getting all my glasses steamed,
But kettles can do that.
Oh Honestly.
Won't you ever learn?
You really think I could believe you?
I know where it's at.
Quite modestly.
Oh Honestly.

Fa la la la la
La la la la la
Suppository.
Doo doo doo da doo
Tra la la la la
Geometry.
La la la la la la la la
Fa da da da tra la la...

Oh Honestly
He's seeing me,
And modestly
He's really neat
He's really sweet
And walked me home
And kissed me on the porch.
Oh Honestly
Now, would I lie?
Cross my heart and hope to die.
He held my hand
He's oh, so grand
And his daddy's got a porsche.

Oh Honestly.
Oh Honestly.
 

Just About
(Cathy Davies & Lowri Carrow)

Just about here,
Or so I hear...
That's where they found the body.
She'd jumped into the estuary
And slowly washed down stream.
I don't know what she'd done.
I don't know what went wrong.
It seems to happen every week round here.
Well just about.

I don't know who she was
And wonder if she's missed.
Is someone out there worrying
About some missing kid?
I wonder if she's happier now
Or just nothing at all.
I wonder if it hurt her
Or if she died mid-fall...
It makes me think.
But only for a moment.
 

If You Close Your Eyes
(Lowri Carrow, Cathy Davies, Helena Jones & Kelly Summers)

If you close your eyes
You can imagine anything you like
But I will still be here
To keep my eye on you.

Who is it you're seeing when you kiss me?
Is it me or is it someone else?
Is it some stunning actress that you've got your arms around?
I really could be anyone if I don't make a sound.

If it's me you're seeing when you kiss me
Do I look the same as in the flesh?
Do you see the blackheads on my nose at all?
Do you pluck my eyebrows in your head?

Do you see me as I am or how you'd like me to have been?
Would you do a Jimmy Stewart if you could?
Are you a psychic plastic surgeon?
Are my features plastacene?
Tell me if in real life I'm not as good.

I wonder how I measure up to what you're seeing there.
I wonder if I'd ever stand a chance.
Do you open up your eyes and see some truly ugly cow stare back at you?

Or maybe you're kissing your car...
 

Fair Enough, Just Not Right Here
(Cathy Davies)

Fair enough, just not right here.
If someone saw us, you'd be living in fear.
If they told my daddy, boy, you'd better worry for your life.
He's quite possessive. The Greeks surely had a word for it.

There must be somewhere we can go.
Somewhere quiet that nobody else will know.
You could drive us there if I were to lie down in the back seat.
Have you a blanket I might use to hide myself beneath?

Don't get me wrong,
I'm not ashamed
To be seen
In close proximity to you.
It's just I'm 14 and your 32.
People would talk.
Your wife'd find out,
And she'd kill you in an instant
Or at least she'd throw you out.
And she'd take half of your money
If you ever got divorced,
And daddy'd surely sack you
As a matter of course.

Darling, I'd love to, but not here.
It's far far too exposed to make love on Wigan pier.
Oh, love, don't get me wrong, but I'd hate you to catch cold.
Let's go some other place that's warmer and less crowded.
 

What Do I Have To Do To Win Scrabble Against You?
(Cathy Davies)

Another 32? Gives you hundred and seven.
My turn: FLOWN. That's... mm, mm ...eleven.
Gives me 58. What? You're playing all seven?
You get fifty points for that? What's that? UNLEAVEN?
I don't believe it. And a triple word score?
I wanted that. I was gonna play SNORE.
I'd set it up special. Two triple word scores?
Well that's just ridiculous. Who drew up this board?
Go on, what did you score? A hundred and twenty two?
What do I have to do to win Scrabble against you?

One two two add a hundred and seven...
Two hundred and twenty nine
Two hundred and twenty nine
Two hundred and twenty nine
Now how'm I meant to catch up?
I'm "that far" from giving up.
Now let me see. Alright then. PRUNE.
Eight. Not great. Can I have some good letters soon?
Right, you're giving me a chance.
Since when has QUIZ been giving me a chance?!
Wasted your Q? You've wasted your Q?
In what possible way have you wasted your Q?
You've got 32 points there! Another 32!
What do I have to do to win Scrabble against you?

Look dear, I don't mean to complain,
But can't we play Cluedo every now and again?
 

Maybe You Do
(Helena Jones)

Maybe you do.
Oh well I couldn't really say.
Maybe you don't.
Well, honey, I've not got all day.
I just want to get some play
Before you've got to go away.

Oh, maybe you do,
And maybe you don't,
And maybe you might
If you were asked.
Well I couldn't mind.
I haven't the time.
Stop genuflecting,
And come up with a rhyme.

What does it matter?
Why should we care?
I just want to run
My fingers through your hair.
What are you on about?
Have you gone mad?
Come here and hold me close
And kiss me like a good good lad...

Oh, baby, you do.
Don't tell me you don't.
Oh, baby, you know that you can.
Oh, baby.
Oh baby, baby, you're a real strong man.
Yeah you're a big big boy,
Can do anything,
So take me, take me now:
Get me a diamond ring
So I can show my friends
How great you are
And you can drive me round
In your great big car
And they'll all, they'll all get
They'll all get reeeeallllly jealous
Cos you're fine and strong
And only slightly over zealous
And you're mine you're mine
Yeah yeah you're mine you're mine you're mine
You're mine you're mine mine mine mine
mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine
miniminiminiminiminiminiminiminiminiminiminiminiminiminiminiminiminimiiminiminiminiminimini...

Listen, little honey, I like getting my way.
Do you understand what I'm trying to say?
 

Too Bad I'm a Nut
(Andy McKay)

Hey there, you.
You're a beautiful thing.
What oh what are you... what are you doing?
Did I see you in the library?
I think I did. I saw you looking at me,
And I thought "my my my, that guy is certainly something"
I thought "I wonder what I wonder what he is reading"
So I pulled your records when you left the room
And now I see your name is Jonathan Groom
And you're studying biology, you sweet little man.
Honey, keep your glasses on,
They make you look grand.
I bet you're really intelligent,
Really smart,
I bet you know what you like,
I bet you like fine art,
I bet you listen to Bach.

Well I'm barking mad.
Barking mad me.
Woof woof. Woof woof.
Cock my leg up a tree.
I hope you don't want no
Conversation.
No fascinating, riveting stimulation
Of a cerebral kind
Cos that's beyond my means.
I mean all that I just said,
I don't know what that means.
I'm just reading this straight off a sheet.
And it's a jolly good thing that it's printed really neat.
You know I see that you want me
And you like how I look
But you can never get near me.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
Too bad I'm a nut.
It starts to sound weird when you say it too many times.
 

Easier Back Here
(Tony Merrifield & Andy McKay)

He drove me up to lovers lane
In his cherry red convertible car
Well I say it's his but it's really his dad's
Though he can borrow it if he fills it up with petrol.

The apple blossom on the trees
Was drifting to the earth when he told me that
He thought that I was really cute tonight.

He put his hand upon my knee
And fingered with my hair,
Then brought his arm across my back
As he felt the line of my underwear.

And then he kissed me.
Ooh ooh.
Then he kissed me.
Ooh ooh.
Then he kissed me, as he drew me ever closer to himself
And he told me that he wanted me and I began to melt
And then I felt something quite long and hard press firm against my leg
And I snagged my skirt against the handbrake, ooh
I snagged my skirt against the handbrake, ooh
I snagged my skirt against the handbrake, ooh
And he whispered in my ear
"It's easier back here"...

So we fumbled in the back seat
Of his cherry red convertible car.
Well I say it's his but it's really his dad's
Though he can borrow it if he fills it up with petrol.

He ran his hands across my body
And fingered everywhere
Then a torch shone in, and blinded me
And I could hear the voice of Constable Blair.

"Ello ello ello..."
"Ah, evening officer."
"Shouldn't you two kids be in bed?"
"I'm 32."
"A likely story. My word. That's young Cathy Carrow. I've a good mind to tell your parents, missy."
"Please don't."
"Well perhaps we could come to some arrangement..."
"What did you have in mind, officer?"

And then he kissed me.
Ooh ooh.
Then he kissed me.
Ooh ooh.
Then he kissed me, as he drew me ever closer to himself
And he told me that he wanted me and I began to melt
And then I felt something quite long and hard press firm against my leg
And I snagged my skirt against his truncheon, ooh
I snagged my skirt against his truncheon, ooh
I snagged my skirt against his truncheon, ooh
And he whispered in my ear
"It's easier back at the station, miss...
"We've got handcuffs and everything..."
 

What Do You Mean By That?
(Cathy Davies & Helena Jones)

What do you mean by that?
What do you mean by that?
In that quite ludicrous hat.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself...
You ought to be ashamed of yourself...

What do you mean when you say what you say
When you say what you're saying what you say what you mean
What you what do you mean say you what what you say
What you say what you what when why what way why what wean?
What wet what?
Wet what wean.
When one wet?
What went wean?

What do you mean by that?
What do you mean by that?
What you say makes no sense at all
And I don't know what it means
When you're saying what went wean...

What do you mean by that?
What do you mean by that?
In that quite ludicrous hat.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself...
You ought to be ashamed of yourself...
You ought to be ashamed of yourself...
You ought to be ashamed of yourself...
 

Mad Enough
(Tony Merrifield)

I'm not ashamed.
God, I'm mad enough.
Sick of all this.
You've treated me rough.

I've had enough.
I've had enough.
Not mad enough.
Not mad enough.
I'm leaving.
You can't make me change my mind.
I'm growing up.
I'm growing up.
I'm going out the door and you won't stop me.
You can't say a thing.
I'm simply not that mad enough to stay.

I've taken my time.
Time heals wounds they say.
Well time enough has made them.
It just as soon can take them.

I'm not gonna cry.
I'm just gonna face up to the world today.
I'm sick to death of all this rubbish that you throw my way.

I've had enough.
I've had enough.
Not mad enough.
You know that I despise you
And you can never change my mind.
I'm walking out.
I'm walking out.
There's nothing you can do to make me stay here
In your Hell on Earth.
I'm simply not that mad enough...

And when you close the door
I hope it hits you hard
I hope it hurts you
I hope that one of these days you'll be locked away
God knows your mad enough.

...Can you feel how much you hurt me?
You know I don't suppose you can.
I've had enough.
I've had enough.
Not mad enough.
And there is nothing you could do now.
You can't say a thing.
I'm simply not that mad enough to stay.
No I'm not mad enough to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay
No I'm not mad enough to stay.
Oooh ooh.
And you're not man enough to pay.
 

Took Me To The Bay
(Helena Jones)

He took me to the bay
Because it's so romantic there
They've got this funny little fair
With duck shoots, candy floss and merry-go-rounds...

We walked along the beach
Arm in arm and bare foot as the sea
Lapped gently on our toes
And moonlight cast its net across the coast.

Ooh la la la la la
La la la la
La la la la la la la.
Ooh la la la la la
La la la la
La la la la la la la.

He took me to the bay
And then he took me to heaven.
As the waves lapped around us
All I wanted was for this to last forever...

La la la la la
La la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la
La la la la
La la la la la la la.
 

Last Drink of the Night
(Tony Merrifield, Andy McKay, Helena Jones & Cathy Davies)

It's getting so late
And I'm so tired.
So tired I cannot sleep.
I look up at the clock
And wonder when it will stop.
Rolling the glass and
Feeling the weight.
Watching the film in the candle-light.
I close my eyes and drink to pleasant dreams.

Reach for the bottle,
I pour out the last
And run it under my nose.
I pull round the blanket and listen to the wind.
Side two's finished,
The needle's stuck.
I can't be bothered to get up.
Maybe I'll watch static on TV.

Maybe I should try to sleep
It just seems like too much hard work.
Perhaps I'll put another record on.

Maybe I should call a friend
But they've all moved out of town.
Now there's no-one left at all.

And if there was they'd be asleep.
Maybe I should try to sleep.
It just seems like too much hard work.

Perhaps I'll put another record on.
Or go out to the cliffs
And watch the moon shine through the clouds.

Oh...
Watching the flame
Through the wine.
It's the prime of your life.
Feel the warmth.
Let it grow inside of you.
It tastes so sweet and it melts forever away.
Take the last dregs to that dull empty space in your head
But you know that it's never quite full
Let's all close our eyes and drink to pleasant dreams.
 

Summer Sundays
(Cathy Davies)

The sun's shining brightly
Right over the green
As the kids are let out of the church,
And over the way
22 men play cricket
While we sit and pick at
The blackberry thicket.

Kelly's brought over
Some cool ginger beer
That her mother has kept in the fridge,
And we lie back and stare
At the clouds floating by,
Idly wondering what it feels like to fly.
If we could take off and sore into the sky...
But we're brought back to earth by a passing ice cream van.

Daddy's in the garden,
Playing with the plants
While Mummy is making the tea.
Wonder if she'll still see?
Wonder if she'll still be here
When they drop the bomb.