Interview with John Craven, October 1991.

Whatever happened to John Craven? That's a question that occasionally crops up in the pubs round these parts. Not the Newsround presenter, mark you... no - a different John Craven, who appeared in the valleys in the early seventies, and taught us all the ways of punk, before disappearing to who knows where... Like some wandering pedagogue with a twisted nose, and a machine that made his guitar something unearthly. His old backing band, the Angels of Death, recently announced their retirement from the music business, but what of their former leader? Where did he go? We sent Evan off to find out.

EP - Last time I saw you you were living in a van. This is something of a move up-market...
JC - It's a barn.
EP - It's a converted barn.
JC - Yeah. It's very pretty, innit...?
EP - Do you have to wear a wax jacket and wellies?
JC - As you can see, Ev, I am wearing nothing whatsoever.
EP - You're wearing jeans and a jumper, and stop trying to confuse the readers.
JC - Gotta get your kicks somehow...
EP - So what are you doing living in a rather swanky barn conversion in North Wales?
JC - It's our lass's.
EP - Ah yes... former page three stunnah, Connie Lyndhurst.
JC - The same.
EP - That's quite a smug expression, John.
JC - Oh.
EP - So how did you wind up dating a rather wealthy topless model?
JC - We went to the same drug tank.
EP - Oh yes?
JC - A-huh. There I am, standing up in the middle of a circle, telling all these skinny cretins about how I shove bits of metal into my arms for fun, and the only bit of meat in the whole room... the only thing that doesn't look like its been dead for ten er... millenia... is a pair of huge tits in a tight orange top. I lost concentration and that were that... Got a right telling off, I did...
EP- Mm?
JC - Just sat there gawping and giggling. Found the whole thing very amusing. They didn't approve. Not the tits, the people in charge...
EP - Oh.
JC - Anyway, the two of us traded us habbits in for sex addictions. Seems to've worked. We suck and probe each other for ten hours, have something to eat, and do some more fondling... no time for jacking up with that set up. Wanna cup o' tea?
EP - Um... ok then...
JC - What type?
EP - What type?!
JC - We got Darjeeling, Earl Grey, Cammomile, erm... some other stuff made out of pot pouri... oh, and my personal favourite: Ringtons.
EP - I'll go with that then, please.
JC - A-huh. D'you like the kitchen? It's in the French farm-house style.
EP - Is it?
JC - Yeah.
EP - It's very... tall...
JC - Yeah. I like the tall.
EP - Yeah. Tall... So how'd you pay for all this?
JC - All that modelling Connie does makes a not inconsiderable amount of money. And her dad's loaded.
EP - Ah.
JC - Handy that. Owt in your tea?
EP - Milk, one sugar, please.
JC - Ok... Milk... milk... I'd not seen this stuff in years till I moved in here... Years...
EP - So what you doing with yourself these days?
JC - Living the life of luxuary.
EP - A-huh.
JC - I do a bit of writing. Nothing much... One or two articles... I'm what the middle classes whimsically refer to as a house-husband.
EP - Oh yeah?
JC - Which means I do the hoovering and the washing up every now and again, but spend most of the time playing Buggy Boy on the computer. And Wizball... I'm a dab-hand at Wizball.
EP - Riight.
JC - I've got one of those Amigas. I've never had a computer before. They're great.
EP - You doing much musically?
JC - Nothing in particular. I could do with a MIDI interface for my computer... I've been doing a bit of strumming. Watching the ducks on the lake there...
EP - I see... Not been gigging at all?
JC - Nah, not recently anyway... I've decided I'm gonna write a novel though.
EP - Oh yeah?
JC - Or maybe a film. I'm not sure...
EP - Mm?
JC - Trouble is I can't really be bothered... You know, when you wake up in bed with a super-attractive model, there's not a lot of motivation there to get up. End up wasting half the day in bed.
EP - Must be a terrible strain...
JC - Then when I do get up, I've the dog to walk, and the pots to do, and before you know it, it's the evening, and I'm watching the telly or playing on the computer, but not actually doing anything massively creative...
EP - I see...
JC - Yeah... I'm trapped. In paradise. With an attractive, rich woman, and a massive house. It's great.
EP - Mm.
JC - So what's happening at planet Clustcwyr?
EP - Do you get to hear anything?
JC - They send me stuff every now and then. Get me to tell them what I think... Is everything still ticking over? Dafydd still keeping the floor dusty?
EP - Yep. There's not a lot been happening recently actually... Since Helena's Box did the decent thing, it's just been the Angels and the Moisture Farmers really... Oh, and now we've got Rotten Fruit. They're a fairly recent development...
JC - Oh yeah... I got a tape of some of their stuff... Not bad, I thought...
EP - Yeah. Know who it is?
JC - Should I?
EP - Well it's half of Helena's Box and half of the Margarets.
JC - What?
EP - No, really.
JC - Well who'd've thought it? Which halves?
EP - Um... It's the blokes out of Helena's Box...
JC - Oh right... yeah...?
EP - And the guitarist and keyboard player from the Margarets.
JC - I see...
EP - They're not bad though, like you say... Seems promising.
JC - Yeah. Who'd've thought it... Good on'em. And I thought they were just crap.
EP - Aye.
JC - Just goes to show...
EP - Show what?
JC - Dunno.
EP - Mm.
JC - Moisture Farmers aren't bad either. They anyone famous?
EP - Nah. Only in their own right.
JC - That's a laugh. They're not as good as Angels or Rotten Fruit, but they're not bad... Something of a renaissence going on at Clustcwyr, eh?
EP - Yeah, it's not bad at all... Things are a bit slow, like... I think Dafydd'd prefer it if the studio was in use a lot more. It's not been totally booked up for a while now.
JC - It'll pick up, I expect. There'll be loads of Nirvana fans packing out the university this year. They'll all be wanting to record their own Neverminds.
EP - I expect you're right.
JC - Usually am.
EP - So that's what this years students are listening to at the moment. How about you?
JC - Mm? Nothing much... Connie got that last Queen record. It could've been a lot worse. As AOR goes, that wasn't too bad.
EP - Gosh.
JC - But as far as real music's concerned... Yeah, Nirvana... Stereolab. Have you heard Stereolab?
EP - No.
JC - Ooh. They're quite nice. You wanna try them.
EP - Ok.
JC - But no. Not really been listening to a lot lately... Connie has her stuff on, in the main. Not so keen, but I tolerate it. Like I say... that Queen record's alright as far as that sort of thing goes.
EP - Ahuh.
JC - I listen to stuff in the office. When I'm on the computer. Got my record player in there. Just got a CD player too. Which is great except I've got nowt to play on it, except for that Queen record.
EP - You'll have to buy all your LPs on CD again.
JC - Ha. Fuck off, Ev. No, but I'll have to find some decent stuff on CD. It's very exciting. Lasers and what have you. Like a little Jean Michelle Jarre concert in your own hi-fi...
EP - ...embrace that new technology.
JC - Yeah. Can never get the books out the boxes though. Fiddly little things. Give me a gatefold sleeve any day.
EP - Ha. But at least you don't have to get up and turn the record over half way through.
JC - That's summat. Here you go... Tea...
EP - Thankyou...
JC - Are we done then?
EP - I guess so.
JC - Ok. Fancy a game of Wizball?
EP - Don't see why not...

Next Month:- Jamie Flat-Tennant on life at Factory.