TRACK (through the
wall/door) TO:
INT - CAROL'S LIBRARY - CONT.
The two spinning prisms slow down. Through the power of CSO, we reveal
ROD (upper prism) and OLD LEON (lower prism) pressing their faces
against the glass and looking confused (white limbo interior from what
we get to see). From their perspective there is
no spinning. From our perspective they are about 4" tall.
CAROL approaches the machine and rests her half-empty wineglass on some
nearby shelving. She sets about unscrewing the dials again and removing
the caps.
|
|
WIPE
TO:
INT - ALCUIN KITCHEN -
MORNING
BEENA and KAT sit on separate tatty old sofas around a low coffee
table. A standard lamp occupies the space behind the gap between them.
Both sit in silence and occasionally sip from their coffee cups. The
cafe is not massively busy.
|
The inner caps are warm,
though not hot. More steam as she pulls them off and they clatter and
spin on the floor. As each comes away, the respective prism 'ejects'
with a nice action and more dry ice. Inertia sends the occupant flying
across the prism interior.
|
|
|
CAROL tentatively touches
the top prism but it is hot. ROD is peering out again. OLD LEON is
looking up from his prism.
|
|
KAT
(cracking)
Are choughs still existent
do you think?
BEENA
Sorry?
KAT
Choughs. Are they still existent do you think?
|
CAROL bends down to attend
to something at the back of the apparatus.
She flips open another panel.
|
|
BEENA
Is that the best you can come up with?
KAT
I think it has a certain matter-of-fact charm.
BEENA
It'll do.
|
She pulls a release catch
beneath the panel.
With a puff of pneumatics, the whole assembly raises about three inches
at the side furthest from the wall.
Two BMX-style rubber handles pfiss out at each side of the bottom
corner furthest from the wall.
|
|
BEENA sips her coffee. KAT
watches her.
BEENA
It's not the wackiest question
I've been asked in the last 24 hours.
KAT
No.
|
CAROL stands perpendicular
to the assembly, facing the wall, squats,
grabs the handlebars from below, and, with modest effort, lifts. The
assembly rises and rotates on some sort of cammed hinge. As with
everything else on this machine, there is a mix of effort and pneumatic
smoothness. At a certain point in the rotation, the pneumatics
intervene, and the assembly gently cushions into place at 90 degrees to
its starting point, such that the prisms are now sticking out of the
top. ROD and OLD LEON react accordingly - by the end of the rotation
they cannot be seen as their floor will be within the machinery.
|
|
BEENA
What're we going to do, Kat?
KAT
I don't know.
It... None of it adds up.
Beat.
BEENA
Who is he?
|
CAROL slams the sides of
the handlebars and they return to their
housing with little resistance (and another pneumatic suction). The
assembly sinks slightly and locks more securely into its new angle.
|
|
KAT shrugs.
KAT
Do we take him at his word?
BEENA
I didn't think his word
made sense.
KAT
None of it does, though.
That's the trouble.
|
CAROL punches some more
numbers into the keypad she used earlier.
A grinding growl of more machinery gearing up. CAROL steps back. She
pulls off her gloves and grabs her wine glass.
|
|
KAT
sips.
KAT
But then how often do people
just appear in people's
bedrooms?
BEENA
Twice, it would seem.
KAT
It would seem.
And the police were
clearly expecting
Shed Boy from what you
were saying.
BEENA
I saw through their
formidable powers of subtlety.
|
The prisms start rising
and falling in their housings as we hear the
whirr of a TARDIS. At the full height of the prisms we may catch
glimpse of ROD and OLD LEON, but they will likely keep a low profile.
CAROL steps up and punches a few more things into the keypad.
|
|
KAT
Quite.
Beat.
BEENA
So we stick by Shed Boy?
KAT
If we're picking sides, I
prefer
a terrifield little man
who doesn't make any sense
to a bunch of cops who ask
odd questions
yet scarecely bat an
eyelid at our break-in.
BEENA
A-huh.
|
There is a jolt -- the
room shudders -- CAROL spills a splash of wine
on the keypad. She dusts it away, hastily, and knocks another couple of
buttons which illuminate accordingly to demonstrate her klutz.
The nearest prism (OLD LEON's) judders in its rise and fall.
CAROL is
pressing buttons to clear her error.
She seems broadly satisfied, but
the prism is still sticking in its housing.
CAROL nudges it with one of
the gloves to try to straighten it out. It seems to do the trick and
she steps back again.
The whirring reaches a climax and the prisms dematerialise.
CAROL closes her eyes with a sense of peace at a mission accomplished.
FADE TO:
|
|
BEENA
sips. She sloshes her cup
slightly and so she mops up a few splashes from the table with a paper
serviette.
KAT
Plus, I'm not dropping
Ting-Ying in it.
BEENA
No.
KAT
But as for what's actually
going on...
BEENA looks expectantly at
KAT.
KAT
I won't lie, Beena:
I'm fucking terrified.
This is not... it doesn't make any sense!
BEENA shakes her head in
agreement. Stares into space a bit.
|
EXT - MAYGAR - DAY
A Welsh sort of wilderness. Dramatic cliffs, rock, moorland. Bare trees.
Choughs are flying around, tearing at carrion.
|
|
BEENA
One thing I do know, though.
KAT
What's that?
BEENA
Choughs are still existent.
KAT
(laughing)
Oh yeah?
BEENA
Yeah. I saw some when I
was in Wales.
KAT
Well that's comforting to
know.
CUT TO:
|
From the earth,
centre-left, a tree thrusts up into the sky: it's a
broad, sturdy ash, and it rockets from the soil, disturbing choughs.
Its branches extend into the cold sky, and they steam.
The tree is broader than a human.
A crack creeps up the bark of the trunk, snaking slightly but
predominantly vertical.
The crack creaks, then snaps open with a sudden jolt. Light pours from
the tree, and the shadow of a figure...
ROD staggers from the tree. He's still wearing his spacesuit from
Episode 9.
|
|
EXT - CONISBROUGH VIADUCT
- SUNSET
The ricketty-looking viaduct from ANSX.
North side is centre-right of shot. From the middle of the track, a
broad sturdy ash rockets into the sky, disturbing magpes. Its branches
extend into the red sky. They smoulder.
The tree is broader than a human.
Crane around so we're looking South along the viaduct. Conisbrough
Castle on the horizon.
|
CAPTION:
Maygar, Asgard. n.d.
As ROD steps away, the tree
combusts.
High-speed lightning cross-cuts (a la ANS1) as ROD picks his way across
the scene:
ROD in the shadow of a castle;
ROD unleashing a sword;
ROD in front of a wall of flames (from ANS3);
ROD snogging JANE (Gaby Roslin) while casually slaying a dragon;
ROD and JANE in an ice palace, holding flaming torches;
The Bohemian Rhapsody head motif, but with ROD instead of John Deacon
and JANE instead of Brian May;
ROD chasing a cow across a desert, being chased by an Alsatian dog;
JANE up a tree in a beautiful garden, a snake round her arm; a lime in
her hand;
Dead bodies,
fish, and cheeses of various kinds, scattered across a lawn;
ROD clutching a golden Cornish pasty in front of his face, Indiana
Jones-ish;
ROD riding a cow, pursued by OLD ALEX, OLD LEON, STEW and the dog (from
ANS1);
Man-hole cover in a corridor rises from the floor and ROD is beneath
(from ANS1);
Fifteen to One intro shot of ROD (from ANS1);
JIM_CE (Christopher Eccleston), OLD LEON and STEW in a snowy landscape
with a blooded OLD ALEX -- ROD leans in from left of shot and whispers
into JIM_CE's ear (from ANS3);
ROD riding a Chocablock buggy down a grassy hill (from ANS3);
ROD in a compacting chamber with JANE (from ANS7);
ROD laid in dust, regenerating into JIM_SD (Steve Davis) (fron ANS9);
JIM_SD in his sniper's nest at The Crucible (from Babysham);
|
|
CAPTION:
Conisbrough. n.d.
The tree combusts.
We crane
around to an angle whereby we can see OLD LEON stood to the south of
the tree.
He is staring at it in slightly baffled disappointment.
He is a bit
shaken up but maintains some composure.
The tree disintegrates into a different kind of ash.
As it does so, OLD LEON heads
south over the rickettiest part of the bridge.
High-speed montage a la the intro to ANSX:
OLD LEON on a bicycle (from ANS5);
OLD LEON unleashing a bike-pump as a lightsabre (from ANS5);
OLD LEON in a pub, pulls a gun from his coat and shoots (from ANSX);
OLD LEON at the portcullis of a castle (from ANS5);
OLD LEON, JAM-JAR (Vincent Perez) and OMRA (Matthew Perry) in a
compacting chamber (from ANS5);
OLD LEON hiding in a shower cubicle (from ANS5);
A cavern full of OLD LEONs (from ANS5);
OLD LEON peering from the balcony of Central Hall (from ANSX);
OLD LEON pulling back the head of a fish costume at a snowy crematorium
(from ANS2);
JIM_CE (Christopher Eccleston), OLD LEON and STEW in a snowy landscape
with a blooded OLD ALEX -- ROD leans in from left of shot and whispers
into JIM_CE's ear (from ANS3);
OLD LEON riding a Chocablock buggy down a grassy hill (from ANS3);
OLD LEON holding a just-fired gun with an oustretched arm, bows his
head and surveys his dead friends (from ANS7);
OLD LEON rising into a flying saucer (from ANS7);
OLD LEON on some fire escape steps, in a smoking jacket, reading a book
(from ANS8);
OLD LEON, JIM_CE, OLD ALEX and STEW step out of a TARDIS in the
Barbican (from ANS9);
OLD LEON with a shovel, knocking out LUCY (Sarah Michelle Gellar) (from
ANS9);
OLD LEON shooting God at the skate park (from Babysham);
OLD LEON ascending into a flying saucer (from Babysham);
|
JIM_SD stood with OLD LEON
outside his TARDIS in the Leeds Corn Exchange (from ANSX);
JIM_SD in a clown costume, pulling off his
orange wig and red nose (from ANSX);
JIM_SD collapsing in a police cell (from ANSX);
JIM_CB and STEW stepping through a temple doorway (from ANSX);
WHITE OUT.
|
|
JIM_SD stood with OLD LEON
outside a TARDIS in Leeds Corn Exchange (from ANSX);
OLD LEON stepping from a cupboard and dusting himself off (from ANSX);
OLD LEON crossing the Vortex (from ANSX);
OLD LEON stood outside his TARDIS, then stepping in and the door
closing (from ANSX - Leon);
OLD LEON giving a baby a toy goose (from ANSX - Trailer 1);
Shot of a building exploding (from ANSX - Trailer 1);
WHITE OUT.
|
PRE-LAP: - Southern TV
guitar ident music. Repeat.
CUT TO:
INT - MILLS'S ROOM - DAY
TING-YING sat on Mills's holding her phone, which is ringing with the
pre-lapped music. She answers.
TING-YING
Hello?
Ah, yes. One moment,
please.
MILLS is sat on the floor by
the balcony door.
TING-YING
(to MILLS)
It's the landlady.
The two of
them get up and head out.
MILLS pats the stuffed badger on the head on the way.
CUT TO::
INT - STAIRS / BOTTOM
CORRIDOR (HES RD) - CONT.
The two head down the stairs, and TING-YING, still clutching her phone,
opens the front door, while MILLS holds back at the stairs.
|
|
[c.60']
MIX TO:
INT - UPSTAIRS CORRIDOR, CAROL'S HOUSE - DAY
Looking down the full length, to the door at the end of the corridor --
the door to the Library.
We're tracking towards it, slowly. Is it glowing, or is it just the
white-out flourescing in the mix?
The tracking shot is very slow.
|
The door opens, and there,
bathed in sunlight, stands SALLY (Deborah
McAndrew). She wears a wooly hat, long purple coat, scarf, mittens,
jeans and boots. There's a tablet-size leather bag over her shoulder.
SALLY
Hello - has no-one been yet??
She gestures in the
direction of the broken window.
TING-YING
Not yet.
SALLY
They were meant to come out last night
and board it up.
|
|
As we
get close to the door, it suddenly fires open.
We maintain our tracking shot, forwards, through into:
INT - CAROL'S LIBRARY - CONT.
The room is dusty; cobwebbed.
It's evidently not been used in a good decade or so.
We keep tracking, slowly, into the room.
|
She sighs.
SALLY
Sorry about this.
I'll ring them.
She comes into the house and starts dialling into her phone with one
hand while shutting the door with the other.
|
|
We don't progress far,
when KAREN sweeps into the centre of shot and just stands there.
She's in her coat and scrutinising a Red & Black A4 ledger.
CU shot of the ledger: handwritten:
EXPERIMENT IX
...at the top of the page.
Extensive entabulated notes.
KAREN flicks through the pages...
|
MILLS
Coffee?
SALLY
If you wouldn't mind -
please.
Black - no sugar.
(to phone)
Hi - I called you
last night...
|
|
After a beat - not long
enough to read the page, even if it was shot to
allow it, she slaps the book shut and peers up to stare deep into the
camera.
FADE TO BLACK.
|
Broken
window, Heslington Road.
Yes...
TING-YING opens her door. SALLY looks in and she and TING-YING enter.
FADE TO BLACK. |
|
CUT TO:
INT - LIVING ROOM / KITCHEN
(HES RD) - CONT.
MILLS heading to the kitchen. CAM and LEON are sat on the floor by the
patio door, playing Scrabble. "Rendezvous" by Pas de Deux is coming out
of the speakers (this has been with us, muffled, for the entirety of
this sequence).
MILLS
Coffee, boys?
|
FADE UP:
EXT - YORK POLICE STATION, FULFORD - AFTERNOON
Establish.
MIX TO:
|
|
LEON
Um. Yes please.
CAM
Please, Mills.
|
INT - POLICE OFFICES -
CONT.
A large, open-plan space with ceiling tiles, whiteboards and pinboards.
MARTY, O'DELL, PACKER, MADISON, and SPILLAINE are milling about, sat at
desks, on desks, leant against walls, etc. |
|
We follow MILLS who sets
about putting the kettle on. She pokes round
again to ask of LEON:
MILLS
Milk? Sugar?
LEON
Um. I don't know.
CAM looks up at LEON.
|
A pair of double-doors
swing open, and KAREN sweeps in.
She paces across the office, clutching the ledger.
She tosses the ledger to MARTY. MARTY just about bungles a catch.
KAREN starts about taking off her coat and hanging it up on a nearby
hatstand.
MARTY
What is it?
KAREN
Every single experiment they
conducted at the Play School...
|
|
CAM
Try him on black and we can build from there.
Do you need a hand?
MILLS
I'm good, ta.
MILLS is back in the
kitchen.
|
MARTY looks quizzical.
KAREN grabs the ledger back; opens it, and heads to the whiteboard.
She begins to write, in small, neat hand...
Experiment 0
MIX TO:
Group photo of the ANS0 cast
(as seen in ANS6) pinned to a blue hessian pinboard.
|
|
Shouted:
MILLS
Who's winning?
CAM
He is.
He might not remember who
he is
or how he takes his coffee,
but he certainly hasn't
lost his Scrabbling abilities.
LEON
Like riding an elephant.
|
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Experiment Zero:
Dimensional Interphase Sensitivity.
This was back in the '90s...
MARTY
(o.o.s)
Back in Sidney Dore's day.
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Right. Did a lot of
dubious work at the University...
got a group of students to take part
in one of his 'psychology experiments'.
Paid them a fiver each, of course.
Primed them for hypersensitivity to parallel dimensions.
They weren't to know the experiments were still ongoing.
CUT TO:
Newspaper cutting: photo of fire-engines attending a fire in a kitchen
in what was Goodricke A-Block. Headline: 7 STUDENTS HOSPITALISED IN
CHIP-PAN BLAZE
Copy below.
|
|
SALLY
and TING-YING appear at the
hole in the wall.
SALLY peers through.
She catches sight of LEON,
double-taking slightly but ultimately disregarding any thought she had.
LEON does not look up from his game.
We can probably assume he hasn't
noticed.
Words on the Scrabble board include as many as possible of:
STAR, GATE, HELL, HEAVEN, CHOCK, BLOCK, GOD, STEW, SISTER, DEAD,
ROCKET, CHEF, PHEASANT, VIS, LOCAL, POLICE, PIECE.
LEON adds TELE and ION to VIS and claims two triple word scores and a
bonus in the process. |
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Experiment
One:
Real
nasty one.
Demonstration
of advanced healing
by
recourse to transdimensional
reinforcement.
Actually
blew some students up to put them
together again.
[The "one"s in "Experiment
One" and "One, two, three..." synch; as do the "blimeys"]
MARTY
(o.o.s)
Blimey.
CUT TO:
|
|
CAM
One, two, three, four-five,
six-seven-eight-nine,
ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen,
twentyeight, thirty-eight-nine-forty-one-two...
eightyfour.
LEON
And I've used all my tiles.
CAM
You've... blimey.
Ninety-hundred-ten-twenty-thirty.
A hundred and thirty four! Shit. |
Broad shot of office. O'DELL
leaning on the wall (left of shot) sucks
her teeth.
CUT TO:
Back to the pinboard. Photo
of the Main Street house from ANS1, and the Hes Rd house from ANS4.
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Experiment
Two:
Transdimensional consciousness.
Ramping up the effects from the original experiment
by boxing the subjects together within a controlled environment.
CUT TO:
|
|
MILLS,
leaning on the door
jamb (right of shot), sucks her teeth. Goes back into the kitchen.
CAM
Well. I don't think I can win from here.
Happy to call that checkmate.
LEON raises his right hand
to his head. He looks a little off-colour.
Shot of LEON's left hand sweeping over the Scrabble board and knocking
over a large white king (standard chesspiece design) which lands upon
the words GOD and DEAD and scatters the words STAR and GATE.
There's a
green glass bead at the other side of the board, scarcely in shot.
SALLY and TING-YING enter the room -- SALLY is putting away her phone,
and not noticing CAM and LEON, particularly.
|
Another pinboard. A
tractor-feed dot-matrix printout of a cat sat on a
mat and a dog sat on a log. Plus a polaroid of Fred Harris.
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Experiment Three:
[...]
Transdimensional daisychaining.
The original Chockablock experiment.
Worlds within worlds. Russian doll stuff.
|
|
LEON sees SALLY.
He goes even whiter. From his perspective he has
literally just seen a ghost.
LEON
Sally?
SALLY
Hm?
SALLY
peers at LEON. A sense of dim
recognition. |
Next pinboard - Classic
cover from the "Roderick The Red" Griffin Pirate book; plus a copy of
the same cinema brochure as Mills found earlier.
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Experiment Four:
[...]
Multiple parallel realities.
Pan across to lots of photos of Old Leon.
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Experiment Five:
Multiple parallel selves.
CUT TO:
Another wall -
Photo of Karen in Mr Chops.
Photo of Ant in the Goose Mask.
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Experiment Six:
Communication with subjects.
CUT TO:
Another wall - Photo of the Barbican; Completely black postcard
(portrait).
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Experiment Seven:
Opening the Stargate
to create a pantemporal axis.
|
|
LEON closes his eyes.
SALLY
Do I know you?
LEON
We met once. At...
[...]
some sort of do.
It was a while ago, I
think.
SALLY
Oh sorry... I...
LEON
Leon. Leon Protznedvic.
SALLY
Well, sorry Leon - it's a
pleasure to meet you...
again!
LEON
And you.
CAM stares at LEON. LEON
returns the glance and nods. TING-YING looks at both then gestures to
SALLY to sit at the near settee.
SALLY
Oh, thankyou.
SALLY sits. She stares at
the back of LEON's head. LEON swipes the tiles across the board, and
CAM starts scooping them up into a velveteen bag.
|
CUT TO:
Pinboard with photos of a greylag goose, a Dalek, Central Hall.
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Experiment Eight:
Test of Seven by recourse
to multiple dimensional
and personal destruction.
|
|
CUT TO:
In the kitchen, MILLs is stood, poised, waiting for the kettle to boil.
It is shrilling nicely.
Shots of the steam etc.
|
CUT TO:
Broad angle of the team
again:
KAREN
In other words they killed some people
and blew up the planet a bit.
Then had the subjects set it right again.
All in the interests of science, you understand.
CUT TO:
Pinboard: Photos of the
prisms we saw before, and Carol's library.
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Experiment Nine:
Direct and controlled migration of subjects
from one dimension to another.
Important prep for...
|
|
CUT TO:
SALLY feeling awkward.
TING-YING offers her an open biscuit tin.
TING-YING
Biscuit?
SALLY peers in and picks out a bourbon.
CUT TO:
Traditional shot from above
the kitchen worktop as MILLS pours boiling
water onto coffee.
|
CUT TO:
Photo of the Sheffield
Cemetery Chapel from ANSX; group photo of Jim, Alex, Stew and Babysham.
KAREN
(o.o.s)
Experiment Ten:
Extraction of the subjects
and formal closure of programme.
|
|
CUT TO:
In the living room...
CAM shows LEON a C tile.
LEON opens his hand in a suitably grand gesture to show an X.
He wraps it again with a flourish of long fingers.
|
CUT TO:
Shot of KAREN turning away
from the whiteboard.
KAREN
It's fair to say not everything went to plan.
MARTY
Go on...
|
|
CUT TO:
Overhead shot of MILLS
adding milk to coffee and stirring.
|
KAREN
Some of our subjects
had... other ideas.
It seems, you put someone
in paradise,
they're liable to get a
bit reluctant to come back.
MADISON
Go figure.
KAREN
Indeed.
|
|
MIX TO:
CU of LEON's eye staring
through his glasses, SALLY's reflection thereupon.
Pull out steadily.
|
|
|
LEON
How's your brother these
days?
|
KAREN
We tried to keep
the project open but we
got our budget cut.
Some of our best agents
were stranded beyond our
reach.
MARTY
I'm aware of that.
|
|
SALLY turns to look at
LEON, still chomping on her bourbon.
She eats her bit of biscuit before replying.
|
|
|
SALLY
You know Stewart?
LEON
It was one of his dos where we met.
|
KAREN
Which rather brings us
to...
Experiment Eleven.
[...]
Which is, of
course,
why you're here.
And indeed how you're here.
|
|
SALLY finishes off her
biscuit, nodding.
SALLY
He's well, thanks.
|
O'DELL
Right. So what changed?
KAREN
That's
what we're here to find out.
|
|
LEON nods.
SALLY
He's working in Hull.
|
FADE
TO: |
|
FADE
TO: |
[c.1:05']
[insert intermission break in syndication]
[ACT IV]
CAPTION:
EXPERIMENT X
EXT - SHEFFIELD GENERAL CEMETERY - SUNSET
Footage recorded at the time of ANSX: identical to the scene in ANSX
but without the singing:
We're in a queue of pairs of people, behind OLD ALEX
& BABYSHAM (two ahead) and JIM_CB & STEW (one ahead), entering
the temple doorway and the white limbo beyond.
On the left side of the
door stands FRED (...Harris) in his blue dress. He shakes hands with
those on the left. On the right, JOHN shakes the hands at his side.
Shot of JOHN pressing a strong two-handed handshake upon BABYSHAM.
FRED's handshake is weak by comparison, and single-handed.
BABYSHAM follows alongside OLD ALEX (save a step or so) through the
doorway.
JIM_CB and STEW follow in the same style.
We follow through and the limbo light causes us to...
WHITE OUT.
From the soundtrack's throb emerges the guitar of Deerhoof's "Wrong
Time Capusle" again.
MIX TO:
FX - LIMBO SET
TING-YING
(o.o.s)
When you hunger number one.
From the limbo, centre-shot,
steps forth TING-YING.
TING-YING
It's no wonder
under fun.
At the right of shot, STEW
and BABYSHAM become visible... through the next lyric they bump into
each other.
TING-YING
Don't be mean to see the
green.
STEW and BABYSHAM silently
shrug at each other. They look around.
TING-YING
You get caught in the
machine.
From
the right of frame, the limbo
begins to dissolve into a
wireframe structure and then the wireframe begins to collapse.
TING-YING
You're caught in
the machine.
The
music and TING-YING melt away too.
|
At the left-hand side, the
wireframe holds and becomes a purple grid on a black background.
All very 8-bit.
In the top right corner, a triangle lights and throbs.
Text-type caption alongside: JAMES BARRETT Yo.Te.Co.Ch.Hl.Sh.7
In the bottom left corner, another triangle lights and throbs.
Tele-type caption alongside: ALEX JEFFERSON Yo.Te.Co.Ch.Hl.Sh.3
Lines spiral out to other nodes nearby. These flash as circles.
Captions:
|
|
FX MIX TO:
FX / INT - MR CHOPS - NIGHT
The interior of the corridor builds itself around STEW and BABYSHAM.
BABYSHAM is gripping to STEW's arm.
The two tentatively step forwards, towards the corner of the corridor.
BABYSHAM
Stewie... we're home...
STEW ineffectually tries to stifle a yawn, then rubs his face and nose
with his hand.
|
JB Yo.Te.Co.Ch.Hl.6
JB Yo.Te.Co.Ch.5
JB Yo.Te.Co.2
JB Yo.Te.1
AJ Yo.Te.Co.Ch.Hl.2
AJ Yo.Te.Co.Ch.1
AJ Yo.Te.Co.0
AJ Yo.Te.-1
The implied spirals should be converging upon the centre of the grid.
Pecked lines spoke inwards from the nodes to the triangles.
At the bottom, in tele-type...
CAPTION:
TRANSDIMENSIONAL REINFORCEMENT ACTIVATED.
|
|
Behind them, the door to
what was Economics' room clicks open, throwing more light into the
hallway.
The sound of The Fall's "Just Step S'Ways" drifts out, and PEGS (Ben
Whishaw) follows suit.
He has a shock of curly hair, and wears a jumper and jeans. He's
clutching a glass of whisky and a lit cigarette.
PEGS starts and double-takes at the sight of STEW and BABYSHAM.
BABYSHAM sees him and nudges STEW.
STEW turns to look at PEGS. Then he and BABYSHAM look at each other...
STEW
(to PEGS)
Sir, pray... what year is
this?
PEGS
Er... 1984?
STEW and BABYSHAM look at each other.
|
It flashes.
The triangles move from their start node, back along the sequence to
the earliest nodes.
Beat. Then the triangles flash at new locations at the centre of the
grid.
CAPTION:
RECOVERY COMPLETE.
|
|
BABYSHAM
(to STEW)
We are the dead.
STEW
(to BABYSHAM)
We are the dead.
PEGS
You are the dead.
|
The grid wraps into a
globe and begins to rotate.
Pull out to reveal:
INT - LIVING ROOM (MAIN ST.) - DAY
The globe is on a CRT TV screen.
We keep pulling back to reveal, on the two sofas at each side of the
room, the sleeping forms of JIM (right) and ALEX (left). |
|
MIX TO:
EXT - VANBRUGH PARADISE -
1984 (AN EARLY SUMMER EVENING)
The Paradise in its '80s glory. BABYSHAM and STEW sat with their legs
dangling over the edge.
BABYSHAM
I still don't get it.
The stargate should be
shut.
How can we be in 1984?
STEW
Maybe your stargate
assumptions
were just wrong, 'Sham.
BABYSHAM
Or maybe somebody reopened
it.
|
The TV flicks off, the
picture retreating into a white dot at the centre of the screen.
|
|
|
ALEX
and JIM wake with a start. |
|
STEW
Reopened; never closed;
I think the most pertinent question here
is not so much "how can we be in 1984"
as "how can we stop being in 1984"?
|
They ease themselves up
from their slumber. |
|
BABYSHAM
The two aren't mutually exclusive;
we can ask both. Plus what's the rush?
We're in our own past... we could
make a fortune just betting on
the FA Cup and Eurovision.
|
They share a look.
|
|
STEW
Well it's June, apparently, so we've
got an eleven month wait for both.
And in the meantime we've got
to put up with the miner's strike,
Thatcher and Wham!
|
The shadow of someone
appearing at the small A4-ish size frosted panel that's in the front
door at head height.
FADE TO BLACK
FADE UP ON:
|
|
BABYSHAM
You're such a pessimist.
STEW
I think we got the best of this
year first time round, that's all.
BABYSHAM
Fair enough.
|
EXT - PSYCHOLOGY
DEPARTMENT, UoY - DAY
An ominous looking day, and an establish shot of the round-towered
Psychology Department at York.
|
|
|
TELETYPED
CAPTION:
Psychology Department, University of York
A square cursor blinks for a beat or two...
TELETYPED CAPTION:
- Thursday 15th January 1998
MIX TO:
INT - PSYCHOLOGY DEPT. -
CONT.
CU of SIDDOR (Mark Curry) sans mask. Dressed in a mildly stuffy sort of
way. He's passing a piece of paper.
|
|
STEW
We're going to need a time machine,
and as far as I can make out we forgot to bring one.
Any ideas?
BABYSHAM
No ideas, but I do have a
lead.
STEW
A lead? |
SIDDOR
I need you to sign this.
Reverse
angle to show STEW receiving
the paper. Behind him we may catch sight of BABYSHAM (dressed in jeans
and a blue checked shirt), CHRIS (Alan Carr), JIM, LEON, ALEX,
ALAN, TOMY (James Corden) and MIDGE (Laura Solon). We may not. But all
are in this scene. Some are signing bits of paper and handing them to
JEMIMAH (Janet Ellis).
|
|
BABYSHAM opens his hand to show the
blade of a car key.
The fob end has been broken off leaving only the
slightest stub by way of space to grip. |
STEW
What is it?
SIDDOR
Just a disclaimer.
|
|
STEW
What is it? |
To say you're a willing participent.
STEW signs it and hands it
back. On SIDDOR's desk, a nameplate: Prof. S. J. Dore.
CUT TO:
A circular white room
containing a
10-pointed star of Sinclair C5s facing out from a central hub that
rises to the ceiling in a mess of cables.
On the bonnet of each is a
CRT box-monitor and various cables.
Some of our cast are taking their
place in the C5s, and we concentrate on JIM.
JIM gets comfy and JEMIMAH
hands him earphones which he puts in. Other aides are helping other
members of our cast to get set up.
JEMIMAH attaches a heart-rate monitor
pad to JIM's wrist.
|
|
BABYSHAM
John pressed it into my hand
as he shook it on the way out.
My guess is it's a car key.
STEW
John gave you a car key?
BABYSHAM
John gave me a car key.
STEW
For what car?
BABYSHAM
That question might take some narrowing down, Stew.
Don't suppose he gave you anything?
STEW
A crushed hand.
|
JIM flexes his hand.
JEMIMAH pulls out of the hub a cullinder helmet full
of wires which she helps him strap to his head. |
|
STEW flexes his hand.
BABYSHAM
Probably not a clue.
STEW
Why would he give you a
car key?
BABYSHAM
You know, I never got the
chance to ask him.
PEGS
approaches from behind them,
looking confused.
PEGS
Excuse me...
STEW
Oh, hi again.
PEGS
Um... I think I have to
give you this.
PEGS hands them a six-inch
cubed cardboard box.
|
JEMIMAH moves to one of
the others, and JIM fidgets to get comfy. |
|
PEGS
I found it in my wardrobe
last week.
I don't know how it got
there.
But it... well...
He
turns
the box.
|
Shot of the monitor: A
blue screen with the word "TEST" in a simple white computer font.
|
|
On one of the
faces, in black felt tip, charicature drawings of Babysham and Stew. In
red felt-tip: ONLY TO BE OPENED IN THE PRESENCE OF THESE TWO. WAIT FOR
THEM - AT LEAST A WEEK.
|
Shot of STEW getting into
one of the C5s. JEMIMAH comes to attend (in similar fashion to the
above). |
|
PEGS
We were about to open it,
when I saw you.
BABYSHAM looks at STEW.
STEW
looks from BABYSHAM to the box.
BABYSHAM
Better let me. I have form
with these things.
BABYSHAM holds the box to
his ear.
BABYSHAM
Might be sensible to stand
back.
Just in case. It is the '80s
after all.
|
Shot of SIDDOR stood at
the door, surveying his experiment.
The lights go down in the room, backlighting SIDDOR from the hallway
beyond.
SIDDOR steps away from the door and left out of shot behind the wall. |
|
PEGS and STEW retreat a
little distance.
BABYSHAM holds the box to the side furthest from them
and rips open the lid.
He gently tips the contents, away from him, onto the concrete.
Figure-of-eight and crisp-style pieces of polystyrene blow away in the
breeze. Rolling in their wake: a tin of stew and a bottle of babycham.
BABYSHAM
It's definitely for us.
|
MIX TO:
Near-overhead shot of the hub - ten C5s, all occupied. We don't dwell.
We crane down in a sweeping angle to meet the head-height of the seated
cast.
From left to right of shot:
STEW (facing left), LEON, ALAN, BABYSHAM, ALEX, JIM (facing right).
Behind LEON is TOMY, behind ALAN is someone we've not noticed so far
(and still can't see), behind BABYSHAM is CHRIS, and behind ALEX is
MIDGE -- but those four are less visible to us.
CUT TO:
|
|
MIX TO:
INT - RAY (KITCHEN) - 1984
(EVENING)
It's the kitchen from the early episodes, but looking a bit newer. STEW
sits on his chair. There's no knife-marks in it, but he fingers the
parts where they should be.
PEGS stands by the fridge. Two more of-their-time students, BEN (Andrew
Garfield) and POLLY (Carey Mulligan) watch from the other end of the
kitchen.
BABYSHAM opens the tin of stew and pours it into a bowl. In amongst the
stew flops out a Matchbox car: a red Lamborghini Countach LP 500.
BABYSHAM
fishes it out.
|
From an angled camera in
the hub we pan from behind CHRIS to behind
TOMY... in each case we see enough of the side of the head that they're
identifiable, with their monitor screen in view: composition is such
that the screen is at an angle on the left of shot and the head is
facing it at the right of shot. The angled camera passes by the back of
the head so we get periodic near-blackouts before the next screen/head
combo comes into shot. The time we spend with each person is about 20
seconds, making this whole sequence about three minutes long.
CHRIS is watching True Romance: snatch of dialogue low in the mix:
CHRISTIAN SLATER: "I can't tell you... that was one of the best times I
ever had. It was. But, you know, I knew something must be rotten in
Denmark. There was no way you could like me that much. Man, I can't
tell you how relieved I was when you took off your dress, you... you
didn't have a dick."
PATRICIA ARQUETTE: "Stop being so fucking calm about all this."
|
|
BEN
A Lamborghini?
BABYSHAM
A small child could choke
on that.
He rests the filthy car on
top of the thick stew, and wipes his fingers in his hands then down his
jacket. The car steadily sinks a little.
STEW
What about the bottle?
BABYSHAM
Already on it.
BABYSHAM raises a hand to
the lid of the bottle and pops the cap away with a deft flick. |
MIDGE is watching an episode of Light Lunch from October 1997:
SUE PERKINS: Hey there. Welcome back to Light Lunch. We are salivating
with excitement because in a second we'll be dining with living legend
Twiggy. Are you alright there my love?
MEL GIEDROYC: I don't want to show my knees. Let's hide behind... yeah,
cushions, cushions. |
|
He rolls
the cap across his fingers, clutches it between ring and little finger,
then carefully pours the perry into two glasses on the table.
POLLY
Nothing in the bottle?
BABYSHAM
Only genuine champagne
perry,
it seems. However...
He wears
the cap as a monocle.
Etched into its underside, two rows of three numbers: 592, 518. He
drinks from one of the glasses. |
JIM is watching Doctor Who: The Three Doctors episode 4:
JOHN PERTWEE: You exist only because your will insists that you exist.
And your will is all that is left of you.
OMEGA squeals. |
|
MIX TO:
Overhead shot of kitchen
table. A suitably dated OS map, pinned down by the bowl of stew, the
Babycham bottle, a plate, and a mug. The two glasses stand empty. STEW
places a now-clean Lamborghini onto the map, directly over the National
Railway Museum.
STEW
Five - nine - two,
Five - one - eight.
PEGS
The railway museum.
STEW
Ahuh.
STEW picks up a glass of
whisky and drinks from it.
BABYSHAM
Well these are the sort of
tantalising
clues I basically live for.
BABYSHAM tosses the
bottle-top up, then catches it at head-height. |
ALEX is watching The Crow:
MICHAEL MASSEE: Jesus Christ!
BRANDON LEE: Jesus Christ? Stop me if you heard this one: Jesus Christ
walks into a hotel. Ow! He hands the innkeeper three nails,
and he asks...
MICHAEL MASSEE: Don't you ever fuckin' die?
BRANDON LEE: Can you put me up for the night?
|
|
MIX TO:
EXT - NATIONAL RAILWAY
MUSEUM CAR PARK - 1984 (MORNING)
BABYSHAM and STEW, flanked by PEGS, and BEN and POLLY, shot at low
angle as they stride into the carpark.
High angle shows the context of their search.
STEW
Ok. You go that way, we'll
go this.
Quick
montage of wandering round a
carpark. An instrumental arrangement of Pram's "Omnichord" plays.
|
BABYSHAM is 'watching'
Godard's King Lear (actually he is asleep, and snoring softly):
PETER SELLARS: Yes, they were Easter bells. The images were there as
new. Innocent. Shy. Strong. Now I understand the plucky sacrifice was
not in vane. Now I understand through his words - St Paul's words -
that the image will appear at the time of resurrection. |
|
Down by the railway lines,
a tarpaulin-covered vehicle... The tarpaulin
is emblazoned with a flaming phoenix motif. It is very dusty. Whatever
is beneath hasn't been touched for a while.
STEW and BABYSHAM approach, with the students standing their ground.
They unhitch some rope cables down the side.
|
ALAN is watching Soft Machine Live in Paris 1970:
A bit of Facelift with Hugh Hopper on bass.
|
|
BABYSHAM
One, two, three...
With a deft sweep, BABYSHAM pulls away the tarpaulin to reveal...
...a red Lamborghini Countach LP 500 S with golden wheel-trim and
tinted windows. The car has been souped up a bit. There's a soda-stream
sticking out of the back, along with lots of other electro-mechanical
junk. Cables run along wherever they can run, and into the front. Think
the DeLorean from Back to the Future, but cheaper.
STEW
Oh, come on.
BABYSHAM
raises the key.
BABYSHAM
Shall we try?
STEW gives a passive,
shrugged nod of "may as well". BABYSHAM goes to the driver-side door
(he'd been at the passenger side before).
|
LEON is watching Léon:
NATALIE PORTMAN: Leon, what exactly do you do for a living?
JEAN RENO: Cleaner.
NATALIE PORTMAN: You mean you're a hit man?
JEAN RENO: Yeah.
NATALIE PORTMAN: Cool. |
|
STEW
We've got enough grip on
that key
to get it out again if you
put it in?
BABYSHAM
Should be.
Shot of BABYSHAM putting the
stubby key into the lock. It fits. BABYSHAM grips the stub and turns
it. There's a sudden snap, a click, and a cloud of dry ice. The scissor
door phisshes up with a pleasing action and BABYSHAM jolts back
accordingly.
The interior is not as it appeared through the glazing. There's a dull
grey expanse. We don't get a proper view but we can see something's not
right.
BABYSHAM
Um, Stew...
STEW cranes in to see.
STEW
Oh, for fuck's sake.
BABYSHAM climbs in, somewhat
ungainly. |
STEW is watching the Life
of Brian:
GRAHAM CHAPMAN: Look, you've got it all wrong. You don't
need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to
think for yourselves! You're all individuals!
CROWD: Yes! We're all
individuals!
GRAHAM CHAPMAN: You're all different!
CROWD: Yes! We're all
different!
MAN: I'm not...
OTHER MAN: Shhh!
GRAHAM CHAPMAN: You've all got to work it out for
yourselves.
CROWD: Yes! We've got to
work it out for ourselves!
|
|
CUT TO:
INT - LAMBORGHINI TARDIS - CONT.
A more-cramped than usual TARDIS interior. There's the usual console,
but only about 4ft clearance to the roundeled walls. To the side, half
way up the wall, one of the roundels is replaced by a
Lamborghini-door-shaped aperture, about a foot or so deep, through
which BABYSHAM squeezes, then drops to the floor.
There is no power. Very little lighting. The interior is dark save the
odd basic light and a geometric screensaver on the viewscreen, roughly
in the direction the front windscreen should be with respect to the
door. The console is illuminated just enough to be vaguely discernible,
until BABYSHAM drops -- at which point the roundels systematically
illuminate from BABYSHAM outwards, and then the console is cast in
cheap fluorescent white light (complete with flicker).
The lights aren't able to keep it up. They keep dimming, alarmingly,
and occasionally cut out altogether.
STEW's sticking his head through the door.
|
TOMY is watching Cracker:
ROBBIE COLTRANE: Do you know what a normal psychologist will say?
Possibly, he'll say that the killer is white, unskilled, a fascist, a
football supporter and who lives local. Then, you will realise he's a
prick!
In the distance, on the wall, is a window through which peers SIDDOR.
CUT TO:
CU of SIDDOR monitoring things through the window, and peering at a
chunky, cream-coloured monitor.
He moves a mouse and clicks.
|
|
BABYSHAM flicks some
switches on the console. A Windows Vista desktop
appears, with a mass of icons. The wallpaper is a rather fetching shot
of the Crystal of Enderon. We don't dwell. BABYSHAM clicks a battery
icon in the tray. There is 5%.
BABYSHAM
We're going to need some
petrol.
STEW
When you say petrol...
BABYSHAM
...I mean fissile material.
STEW
Oh that's ok.
I was worried you were
going to say coal.
BABYSHAM
Not coal.
|
CUT TO BLACK.
FADE UP ON:
EXT - HES EAST - DUSK
A windswept lake bordered by wooden buildings.
A tiny, lone figure battles against the wind. It is MILLS.
CU of MILLS clutching a mobile to her ear.
|
|
STEW
Well if I remember Edge of Darkness,
you can't shift for fissile material in the 1980s.
BABYSHAM
I suspect that may not be an entirely
accurate representation. Julian Barnes
noted alarming errors in the details
of the wine cellar, so the chances of the rest
being up to snuff seem scant. |
MILLS
What?!
She sticks her finger in the ear, still battling against the wind.
|
|
STEW
What?
BABYSHAM taps his temple.
BABYSHAM
Cache.
|
MILLS
Well does...
She tries to shelter by one
of the buildings.
MILLS
No, I'm out on the blasted heath.
[beat]
Ok.
[beat]
Yeah, I'll get down the
library and sort it.
[beat]
Ok, see you then.
She puts her phone away, pulls her collar up, and steps back out into
the wind.
|
|
STEW
Well does your cache have
any better ideas?
BABYSHAM
As a matter of fact...
MIX
TO:
EXT - YORK MINSTER - DAY
Establish shot of the rose window.
BABYSHAM
(o.o.s)
York Minster's south
transept.
BABYSHAM stood below,
pointing like a tourist guide.
BABYSHAM
At
2am on 9th July,
someone's going
to find this thing on
fire. Almost certainly
a lightning strike. I
vote we wire it up.
|
MIX TO:
EXT - YORK MINSTER - DAY
For brief moments, this shot merges with the one on the right, but it
depicts the present day, not 1984.
The area has been trimmed up for Christmas.
KAT, BEENA and TING-YING clutch paper shopping-bags (nothing
fashionable; vintage etc) and make their way down Deansgate.
|
|
STEW
Are you really suggesting...
The
shots are structured to
occasionally merge with those on the left.
BABYSHAM
We've got the wheels for it.
How big a clue do we need?
I'm going to go out on a limb
and suggest that this is not my
plan.
What with the big car-shaped tribute
to Michael J Fox back there.
This one's clearly been laid on.
|
KAT
Ok. What do we need now?
TING-YING
I still need my coat.
BEENA
Ah yes.
KAT
And I could do with a scarf.
BEENA
Ok.
KAT
Time for a charity shop run.
TING-YING
I think this a good idea.
They walk away from the
other scene.
We move our attention to
complimenting the other scene again.
FADE TO BLACK.
|
|
STEW
Ok. What do we need to do?
BABYSHAM
(to PEGS)
What date is it
again?
PEGS
June 26th.
STEW
What's that give us?
BABYSHAM
Just under a fortnight to
kill.
STEW
When's Orgreave?
We could go and take some
photos
of police brutality.
PEGS
Last week.
STEW
Huh.
BABYSHAM
I guess we just stay here
for a fortnight and
soak in the atmosphere.
STEW
We should probably do a
bit of
planning, too. You know,
just in case.
|
CAPTION:
21st December 2015
|
|
BABYSHAM shrugs.
Shot of the minster again. |
FADE UP ON:
EXT - WAGGON & HORSES -
NIGHT
Establish.
MIX TO:
INT - WAGGON BACK ROOM - CONT.
CAM sits at the head of the table wearing a black cowl. To his right,
on the main bench, sits LEON in a grey suit and blue and grey striped
tie. To his left, in a chair, is TRIX (Colin Morgan), in a studded
leather jacket, black jeans, and a dirty-olive t-shirt. LEON has a pale
beer, CAM has a lager, and TRIX has a dark beer.
To LEON's right sits BRIAN (Andrew O'Neill) with curly black hair, an
'80s rounded-collar shirtwaister dress with red piping and feather
pattern, lots of necklaces, chunky rings, and a purple silk scarf. He
has a pint of cider.
All the drinks are about half-empty.
|
|
MIX
TO:
EXT - YORK MINSTER - NIGHT
Should be a clean mix - i.e. the only thing to change should be the
lighting. Potentially time-lapse.
POLLY leans by the door below the rose window. She wears a silky grey
oversize jacket, sleeves rolled up to reveal a red lining, over a red
t-shirt, a matching silky grey ¾-length skirt, red tights and
grey shoes with a small chunky heel. Pinned to her jacket is a chunky
rectangular brooch which sparkles with concealed red LEDs now and again
(no other jewellery).
POLLY is waiting.
|
CAM looks up. Reverse
angle to reveal KAT, MILLS and TING-YING entering the room.
KAT wears a big brown overcoat, triangle scarf and baggy grey woolly
hat, with a brown bag, and red-brown boots sticking out below. MILLS
wears a grey
sweatshirt, a grey cheesecloth skirt, grey woolly tights, grey
trainers, and pink legwarmers. TING-YING wears a white mac, white
scarf, long, thin earrings, a black bag and black boots.
All of them are mildly damp and snowy, and all have curled their hair.
|
|
She picks a fobwatch from
her pocket and flips it
open.
About 1:08am.
A drop of water lands on the face. It is beginning
to rain.
POLLY wipes the rain from her watch, closes it again and puts it away.
Rumble of thunder, distant car horn. |
CAM
What
took you?
KAT is pulling off her hat
amd coat.
TING-YING
Kat was running late.
KAT
I apologise.
KAT is in a yellow jacket
(sleeves rolled up), yellow, low-cut t-shirt,
and brown skirt. There's a red wine stain at the right breast of the
jacket, but it isn't obvious because she's wearing the scarf. She and
her coat take a seat.
|
|
POLLY
What took you?
The Lamborghini being pushed
by PEGS, BABYSHAM and BEN. PEGS wears a blue short-sleeved shirt and
white trousers.
BABYSHAM wears his usual red bandage ensemble, BEN
wears a turquoise shirt and white trousers. All three are beginning to
get wet as the rain gets heavier.
BEN
Apparently it isn't very easy to steer. |
MILLS
Still, we're here now.
TRIX
And so's the snow, I see.
KAT
Well it's trying, anyway.
MILLS gets sat down in the
chair opposite BRIAN. TING-YING goes back to the bar.
MILLS
So what's the plan?
|
|
PEGS
Still, we're here now.
[..
..]
And so's the rain, I see.
POLLY
crouches and picks up two
industrial-looking cables that are coiled at the side of the wall, and
which extend upwards towards the roof. |
BRIAN and TRIX look to CAM.
CAM
We have another pint or two,
then we head off to our Secret Location.
MILLS & KAT
Ooooh.
BRIAN
Very ooooh.
KAT
Do you know where it is?
|
|
BABYSHAM
Put us down just there.
They wheel the car to jut
infront of the door. |
BEENA enters clutching two
drinks.
TRIX
Only Cam and Tone know.
BEENA
puts a red wine in front of
KAT, and cider opposite.
KAT
Thanking you.
BEENA
is wearing a big brown coat, not unlike Kat's, which is open to show a
brown shirt blouse and brown trousers. Her hair is curled and bunched
to the right. She pulls her coat off, dumps her bag under the table and
sits opposite KAT.
BEENA
Looking
splendid as usual, Bri.
BRIAN
Likewise, all of you.
|
|
BABYSHAM
Nice
on.
BABYSHAM looks up the minster and into the rain which is now proper
rain. Lightening.
POLLY hands the ends of the cables to BABYSHAM.
BABYSHAM
Thanking you.
BABYSHAM opens something at
the back of the car and then rams the cables deep within.
There is some
gentle sparking and smouldering, underlined by colossal thunder. |
BEENA
What time are we off?
CAM
puts down his drink.
CAM
Oh, we've time for another if you like.
TING-YING enters
with drinks.
Puts a pint of something black in front of MILLS; something
tomato-juice-ish next to KAT. She takes her place on the bench.
KAT
We expecting anyone else?
CAM puts down his drink.
Shakes his head.
CAM
We'll be meeting Tone up
there.
And whoever he can drag
along.
KAT
and MILLs exchange glances. KAT
fumbles in her bag.
A grinding noise from the corridor. A 10" radio-controlled K-9 enters
the room.
K-9
Danger! Danger, Master!
The blaster extends from its muzzle.
MIX TO:
EXT - SIWARD'S HOWE - NIGHT
A thin covering of snow.
CAM is leading the way up the cycle-track, followed by the rest from
the pub.
CAM heads off the path and into the wood. He loudly whispers:
CAM
Come on. This way!
They tentitavely step into the wood.
CAM reaches a fence and pulls it open a little way. He urges the party
through the gap.
MIX TO:
EXT - SIWARD'S HOWE TOWER - NIGHT
Establish shot of the castle-like water tower. The party emerging from
the trees at its base. There is the glow of party lighting discernable
through its broken windows.
CAM trots past, heads to a doorway, and gives it four raps.
A beat or two and then the door opens.
From the crack of the door, TONE (Shazad Latif) in grey trousers, a
brown
polo-neck, and a brown velvet jacket with a brown silk hankie dripping
out of the pocket.
|
|
BABYSHAM
What
time are we on?
POLLY
One. You know how to cut it fine.
The driver door opens and
STEW clambours through.
STEW
I'm getting some significant
electrical activity overhead.
Lightning.
STEW
You should probably
get in!
Thunder.
BABYSHAM
I quite agree.
Look... thanks guys.
BABYSHAM shakes BEN by the
hand. Shakes PEGS's hand then embraces him and pats him on the back.
BABYSHAM
We'll miss you.
PEGS
Us too.
BABYSHAM
embraces POLLY, kissing her
gently in the rain. Lightening. It's a friendly kiss more than it is a
sexy one. Thunder.
BABYSHAM
Look after yourselves.
POLLY
Of course.
Mind how you go.
BABYSHAM climbs through the door of the car.
BABYSHAM
Rightio. This might take a while,
depending on when the lightning hits,
so we'll get in and limber up.
Take care.
PEGS and BEN wave. POLLY presses her hand against the glass of the door
as BABYSHAM starts to close it.
POLLY
I have to tell you,
I've had so much fun.
I hope to see you next Sunday
at the same time. Goodnight!
BABYSHAM smiles, illuminated by more lightening.
|
CAM leads the party inside the tower.
MIX TO:
INT - WATER TOWER - NIGHT
It's quite dark, but car battery-powered fairy-lights illuminate the
place as best they can. A laptop is rigged up to a sound system and a
projector, and the wall is filled with YouTube clips of K-9 doing his
stuff with Tom Baker et al.
An improvised bar is loaded with bottles and snacks of various kinds.
Blankets,
cushions and beanbags are dotted about to make the place a bit nicer.
MARK (Jacob Anderson) and EM (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) in black cowls are chatting
over Desperados.
ALAN is sipping from a Wychwood bottle. He wears a flat cap,
checked shirt under brown jumper, black cardigan and duffle-coat. KAREN
wears a back dress with a purple floral design
up the front; her hair up and curly; dangly earrings and a big
necklace. She's drinking from a silver goblet.
Our party is in swing. Our guests are sat about, drinking, or playing
with the remote-controlled K-9. LEON is eyeing ALAN suspiciously as he
chats with KAT and MILLS.
BRIAN is taking photos -- montage: BEENA has a
photocopied 1984 cover of The Guardian and is pretending to read it
while sitting on a railing; KAT is lounging on a bean-bag, holding a
glass of white wine; MILLS is sat on another set of railings,
sweatshirt wrapped around her neck, revealing a pink t-shirt;
TING-YING, stood in front of machinery in her white mac.
CAM leads a countdown...
|
|
STEW
(from
within)
Come on!
BABYSHAM pulls the door shut with a rattle of thunder, and POLLY steps
back.
CUT TO:
INT - LAMBORGHINI TARDIS -
CONT.
It's
quite dark. Car battery-powered strip-lights around the place.
STEW racing around the console, flicking switches and readying himself.
BABYSHAM drops down into the room, and we hear the opening notes of
"Diggi-Loo Diggi-Ley" by the Herreys. STEW looks up at BABYSHAM.
BABYSHAM looks up to the roof.
CUT TO:
EXT - YORK MINSTER - CONT.
PEGS, POLLY and BEN in the shelter of the buildings across from the
minster, looking up to the top of the South Transcept. Lightning
strikes somewhere just beyond the horizon of the roofline, with thunder
immediately after.
Sparks.
PEGS, POLLY, and BEN duck away. A bright light illuminates them.
Angle along the road to see two lines of flames.
|
CAM
Three...
Two...
One...
The
opening titles of K-9 and
Company. They last just as long as the first verse and chorus of the
song in the right-hand feed.
|
|
CUT TO:
INT - LAMBORGHINI TARDIS -
CONT.
The TARDIS interior flares up in sequence. The walls move out, away
from the console, to create more room. There are distinct elements
making up the walls: a lattice grid, several glowing beams and
triangles, and a glowing red 1-shape figure rising above.
BABYSHAM sings...
BABYSHAM
Lightning and thunder,
Magic and wonder...
I don't know how,
But it did happen to me.
STEW,
still dashing around, flicks on a newly-functioning scanner and we see
PEGS, POLLY and BEN standing in the shelter of the buildings across
from the minster.
PEGS,
POLLY and BEN
You felt your heart was set free.
BABYSHAM
joins in with the console
operation, as the room begins to rock.
BABYSHAM
What a sensation!
STEW
We're flying up high now.
BABYSHAM
Sweet inspiration.
STEW
We're going through the sky now.
BABYSHAM
Couldn't believe I was dreaming.
Couldn't believe it was true.
MIX
TO:
FX
- A STORMY NIGHT'S SKY
The Lamborghini flying through the rainclouds; being struck by
lightning.
BABYSHAM & STEW
(o.o.s)
Diggi-loo diggi-ley,
Life is going our way
When I'm walking in my golden shoes.
Everything I ever dreamed of
Has suddenly come true.
MIX
TO:
INT
- LAMBORGHINI TARDIS - CONT.
BABYSHAM & STEW
Diggi-loo diggi-ley,
Let this miracle stay;
I could be whatever I would choose.
Please don't wake me up - I'm dreaming
Of me in golden shoes.
|
The titles come to an end
and are replaced by a black mass.
We don't pay much attention as we
soak up the party atmosphere some more.
More montage as the night wears on.
Dancing is happening. In time with the music in the other half. Indeed,
they're doing the Herreys' dance routine, especially KAT, ALAN, MILLS,
EM, BEENA, BRIAN, TONE and TING-YING.
Off the dancefloor, CAM and TRIX are getting it on.
At the bar, KAREN observing the scene. LEON comes into shot and leans
next to her.
LEON
What are you doing?
KAREN raises her goblet.
KAREN
Drinking. You?
LEON
Observing.
|
|
BABYSHAM
paces to stare blankly into one
of the roundels. Shot from the side, as if he's staring through a
window.
BABYSHAM
I know my dream was a
fantasy illusion,
But when I woke up, I came
to the conclusion:
BABYSHAM
faces us.
BABYSAM
I can be what I want to.
More
TARDIS turbulence sends BABYSHAM
reaching for the stability of the console.
BABYSHAM
& STEW
Woah-oh... woah-oh...
The TARDIS stabilises,
and STEW and
BABYSHAM are able to do the actions...
|
KAREN nods and grabs a
handful of Seabrook crisps from a nearby sacrificial bowl.
Our attention returns to the dancing. KAT and ALAN very much dancing as
a team, as are BEENA and BRIAN. Nothing necessarily to it, you
understand. Just a kindred proximity, perhaps. But ideas of distinct
personal space have largely broken down.
|
|
BABYSHAM
& STEW
Diggi-loo diggi-ley,
Let this miracle stay;
I can be whatever I would
choose.
Please don't wake us up...
BABYSHAM
Don't wake me up...
STEW
I'm dreaming...
BABYSHAM & STEW
...of me in golden shoes.
|
MIX TO:
EXT - SIWARD'S HOWE TOWER -
NIGHT
Disestasblish shot craning away.
We may catch a glimpse of a hooded figure walking up the hill.
Tilt to the night sky and...
MIX TO:
|
|
Please
don't wake us
up...
STEW
Don't wake me up...
BABYSHAM
I'm dreaming...
BABYSHAM & STEW
...of me in golden shoes.
With the climax of the music, the console explodes in a rain of sparks,
and STEW and BABYSHAM dive for cover. The sparks extend into the
left-hand frame.
|