QUINN (Hugh Hopper / Paddy Considine):
HUGH HOPPER: EPISODES 0-1, 3-4, 6-10, BS 1-6.
PADDY CONSIDINE: EPISODE 11.
A bespectacled Philosophy student from Carlisle, Alan may well have survived the explosion in Ep1. He is subsequently employed by MI7. He is killed by BABYSHAM in Ep1, but is evidently reanimated, as he is drawn into the fight with SIDDOR in Ep6. He dies at Siddor's hand in Ep7, and ends up in Hell, where, due to a latent streak of Christianity, he has a fairly rough time.
Alan is at the centre of things in Ep8, when he persuedes MI7 to mount a rescue bid for him. Unfortunately, their audacious plan ends up in the destruction of the Earth, but fortunately, by opening the Stargate, they are able to go back and correct things.
Alan appears to have lost his faith since then, as he is still in Hell in BS 1-6, where he works as a lawyer, and helps out Babysham. But in Ep10 it becomes apparent that Alan continued to plot, leading MI7's attempts at revolution in the Afterlife. He's still working with MI7 in Ep11, where his grip of both reality and morality continues to be tenuous.
COX / ELIXIR (Shirley Manson):
EPISODES 2, 7-9, 11.
Alana is an old friend of ALEX JEFFERSON's who lives with Craig T. Nelson at the time of Ep2. She joins the students on their journey through Heaven only to disappear under mysterious circumstances during the retune. She crops up again as Alex's girlfriend in Hell in Ep7, by which point the two of them have gone increasingly weird.
She was seen in JIM BARRETT's Tardis in the Stargate in Ep9. She was subsequently removed from the dimension, with only STEW JESTER seemingly remembering her existance, and became manifest as a water spirit called Elixir. She was finally freed by the machinations of MI7 in Ep11.
JEFFERSON (Vincent Perez / Aiden Turner):
VINCENT PEREZ: EPISODES 0-10, BS 6
AIDEN TURNER: EPISODE 11.
Alex is a moody, French-Canadian Astrophysics student, with a passion for the darker side of life. In Ep0, he has a girlfriend, MIDGE WAINWRIGHT, who burns his toes for him at night. By the end of the episode, Alex has been tunred into a goose by the biology department, but this is only a temporary condition. Following the explosion, he is reanimated by MI7 for reasons unclear, although in Ep2 we learn that he has a longstanding disagreement with DEATH over the ownership of a scythe, and in Ep6 we see that he is on speaking terms with GOD.
Since losing Midge to a Starship crew, Alex has had an on-off relationship with ALANA COX. He is killed in Ep7 and winds up in Hell. In Ep9, he receives serious lacerations to the stomach which are aggrevated in BS 6. These are treated by JOHN BARRETT in Ep10, and Alex is instrumental in the Toshist New Order of the Afterlife, securing STEW JESTER's collaboration and grooming OMRA and Inanna for power.
BARRETT aka "GALENA" (Julia Carling / Lucy Porter):
EPISODES 1-2, 4-10, BS 6.
We first meet Anna as a member of the crew of the Starship Tonka in Ep1. In Ep5 we learn that she is actually JIM BARRETT's sister, and she subsequently has a larger role in the storyline. She is killed by her father, SIDDOR, in Ep7, and assists in the fight against the geese in Ep8. She is apparently killed in the crush at the Barbican in Ep9, but somehow survives and lives to a considerable age (something she had trained for during her first stint in Hell, with then boyfriend CRAIG BRANWELL). Under the moniker "Madame Galena", she sets up a ballet school in her Tardis in Hell. Like her brother, she is a Timelord, and in Ep10 she regenerates after electrocuting herself during Tardis repairs. She also assists the Toshist revolution.
WALDEN aka 'TONE' (Ben Kingsley / Shazad Latif):
BEN KINGSLEY: EPISODES 0-1, 3-4, 6-11
SHAZAD LATIF: EPISODE 11.
Another Computer Science student from North London, he dies in the explosion in Ep0 but is reanimated by MI7. It is revealed in Ep1 that he was already employed by MI7 in Ep0, and is a General in the organisation. He is killed by BABYSHAM in Ep1, but is evidently reanimated again as he returns sporadically a number of times throughout the soap. In Ep7 he is involved in a goose-worshipping cult which is evidently an MI7 front. We are subsequently told that their actions were designed to open up a pan-dimensional nexus called the Stargate. He is in Hell in Ep10 to assist with MI7's plans for the reordering of the Afterlife, and appears to have been retrieved from that dimension in Ep11 as he continues to assist MI7 with their plans.
WOMAN (Judi Dench):
EPISODES 4-5, 7.
A/V Woman is a retired super-hero who helped maintain the balance of order in Driffield along with her partner, CON-MAN. She is brought out of retirement in Ep7, to help defeat SIDDOR, but is killed in the process.
EPISODES 0-2, 4-11, BS 1-6.
A Nottingham-born Computer Science student; we learn in Ep0 that he is a cyborg designed by Microsoft. Consequently, he is a little unstable, and the slightest thing can cause a malfunction. In Ep0 he lasers TOMY HODGKINSON to death before getting blown to bits. In Ep1 he is rebuilt by SIDDOR, only to be driven insane by the Crystal of Enderon. He then goes on to kill the heirarchy of MI7, as well as some treasure hunters, before hosting a game of "Fifteen to One". In Ep2 he is working in Heaven for GOD's rival, Tosh. In Ep4 he expresses annoyance for having not been in Ep3, and so gets his own show, only to get blown up again. He has an enigmatic cameo in Ep5, seemingly travelling through time. In Ep6 he joins in the fight against Siddor, and in Ep7 he gets killed and ends up in Hell. There he gets his own spin-off series, working as a detective.
In BS 1-6, Babysham gets caught up in at least one plot to overthrow God. Divided by the Stargate, one version of himself is activated as a Guardian of the Godly Throne, while another is programmed by MI7 to kill STEW JESTER. The former is lost in the Hole in the Road diversion, while the latter fulfills his program. Babysham's retrieval from the Chockablock dimension is unclean, and he and Stew end up in 1984 in Ep11, having to find their own way back to 1999. Fortunately they are bequeathed a Tardis by Siddor, and help MI7 solve a minor crisis in the process.
NIELSEN (Pam Ferris):
EPISODES 0, 2, 4, 7-8, 10-11, BS 1-2.
Barnie cleans the corridor that is the setting of Ep0. At least she does until she is found murdered in the lift. By virute of subsequent flash-backs, it seems that the culprit was ANT WALDEN in a stolen Tardis, though there is some dispute over this.
Following her death, Barnie ends up in Hell where she seems to have acquired a ramshackled office property. This she rents out to BABYSHAM. She makes flashback appearences in Ep10, and is back in the corridor by Ep11 (perhaps at the hands of MI7), albeit beaten and bloodied.
THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST (Violet Berlin):
EPISODES 3-4, 7, 10.
To make matters confusing, Violet Berlin seems to play two seperate but probably related characters. The Wicked Witch of the West features in Ep3, and is determined to put a halt to the actions of the students, but is killed by SIDDOR. The version of this character in STEW JESTER's band is assumed to be a descendent of the more malevolent version (though no evidence for this can be shown other than that she is alive, which is little support in the New Soap). This Berlin is involved in a relationship with ROD OF MAYGAR, and, save an achronistic appearence in Ep10, is last seen at the concert in Ep7.
BS 1-6, ANS 10.
Bhuvana is an über-deity who is the mother of both GOD and STEW JESTER. Imprisoned by God in the form of a lime-tree, she was freed by a Nordic God called Maati who she lived with for a while whilst plotting to regain her powers. She also spent time in the employment of BARNIE NIELSEN.
Eventually, she put together a complicated plan in which she would regain her powers and launch a coup for Heaven. It is this plan that is in operation throughout the BABYSHAM spin-off series.
The plan seems to have failed though, as she is killed by LEON PROTZNEDVIC in Hell in BS 6.
CARL CHAPMAN (Bill Nighy):
EPISODES 1-2, 4, 7, 10.
The charismatic Carl captains the all-female crew of the Starship Tonka. In Ep1, he takes the ship to Brampton-en-le-Morthen in South Yorkshire to celebrate the New Year in his friend's pub. Any subsequent appearences have been tokenistic and irrelevent, although he had a strong rivalry with CAROLINE BURNHOLM in the curious Ep4.
He was last properly seen getting drunk in the Traveller's Rest, in Ep2.
BURNHOLM (Heather Nova):
EPISODES 0, 3-10.
Caroline is an Archeology student and a member of STEW JESTER's band: "Gatherer's Moon". She is also Stew's girlfriend between Eps 4-6. She subsequently bears his child, PERCY THE PINEAPPLE. After a brief swoon in the direction of ALEX JEFFERSON, she dies at the hands of SIDDOR, and ends up in Hell, where she lives with an idealised version of JIM BARRETT. When, in Ep8, LEON PROTZNEDVIC calls his former colleagues to arms against the geese, and Caroline realises that the real Jim has been living with an idealised version of her, the two choose to get it on properly. But the relationship is short lived, and Caroline embraces her inner child, going ever-more doolally.
She was seen getting splattered into eternal pain in a Tardis accident in Ep9, but manages to appear in Ep10, trying to trace various cast members.
F. GURDWARA (Art Malik):
EPISODES 2, 7, 10.
Che F. Gurdwara runs the most popular hot-dog stall in Heaven. He is a little eccentric but is worthy of note if only for the continual references to him throughout the series. A legend pertaining to Che has been seen a number of times, and reads: "Che F.'s local pheasant is so local, even the local police want a piece". It's exact meaning remains a mystery.
In Ep10, Che F. fascilitates the Heaven 17's coup before betraying them to the Toshists.
CARTWRIGHT (Christian Slater / Alan Carr):
CHRISTIAN SLATER: EPISODES 0-2, 4, 6-11, BS 2-3, 6.
ALAN CARR: EPISODE 11.
A bespectacled, Lincoln-born Computer Science student, and a tee-totaller, Chris has a girlfriend in Hong Kong, which is more than most of his friends have achieved at the time of Ep0. Following the explosion, he is reanimated by MI7 to become a secret agent in Ep1, but meets an antimatter version of himself (in the form of CRAIG BRANWELL) and causes the universe to splurge open. It is a popular but unproven theory that these two characters are regenerations of a Timelord James Bond.
Dead, Chris ends up at war in Heaven in Ep2, which suggests (according to Ep8) that he is a religious person. He also falls off the waggon.
Reanimated again, Chris works as a bus-driver in Ep6, and joins in the fight against SIDDOR. In Ep7 he is killed and ends up in Hell, where he starts a relationship with a Japanese woman called Sai. He continues to work as a bus driver and as an MI7 operative.
Other than his bus driving, he was seen in BS 6, carrying out questionable brain surgery on BABYSHAM. We also see him in flashback in Ep11, taking part in Siddor's experiment.
EPISODES 4-5, 7.
Con-Man is a retired super-hero who helped maintain the balance of order in Driffield along with his partner, A/V WOMAN. He is brought out of retirement in Ep7, to help defeat SIDDOR, but is killed in the process.
BRANWELL (Tom Cruise):
EPISODES 0-1, 3-4, 6-9.
Craig is a student who lives in the next corridor along from the Mr Chops corridor. Speculation has it that he is a regeneration of CHRIS CARTWRIGHT (or vice versa), although this has never been proved in the soap. What is certain is that a version of Craig from an antimatter universe made contact with Chris in Ep1 and caused all sorts of cross-dimensional chaos.
Craig made flashback and cameo appearances in Eps 3 and 4, but they are of no relevance to the narrative.
By Ep6, Craig is in a relationship with ANNA BARRETT. It may be that this Craig is from our own dimension and not from an anti-matter universe, although he and Chris are kept apart for safety's sake. Consequently, Craig is not present at the massacre in Ep7.
Another version of Craig appears in Hell with Anna in Eps 8 and 9. This may be the same Craig, or it may be an idealised version of Craig conjoured up by Anna. It is unclear.
We see little of Craig and get even less in the form of a linear narrative for him, so consequently he is a little enigmatic.
The Hellish version of Craig was last seen in the Barbican in Ep9, and we are told that soon after he was crushed into a bloody soup of eternal pain.
EPISODES 1-2, 7.
The personification of Death is one of the punters at the Traveller's Rest New Year's Do in Ep1. He has a long-standing disagreement with ALEX JEFFERSON concerning the ownership of a scythe.
He is a party animal, and discounting his appearence in Ep7, he has not been spotted since the closing stages of the New Year in Ep2.
EPISODES 0, 4, 7, 9-10.
A university porter from South London, Economics also studies Economics in his spare time, hence his name. He has some interesting ideas about the world, which he sometimes expresses through the medium of the electric guitar. In the curious Ep4, Economics runs a parcel delivery service called EDS, which some have tied up with the Ep5 Zen Flamenco stuff.
He was last seen in a flashback vignette in Ep10, but has not been seen properly since his suicide bombing attempt prior to his death in the explosion at the end of Ep0.
SEVILLE (Guy Siner):
EPISODES 0-1, 3-4, 6-9.
Esteban is MI7's Spanish Chief-Technician. He is killed by BABYSHAM in Ep1 but is seemingly reanimated as we subsequently see him torturing J3P0 with JIM ORSON in Ep3. In Ep8 he's part of that whole goose-worshipping thing.
He was last seen in the Barbican in Ep9, shortly before being crushed in the opening of the Stargate.
FRIZZARD (Clive Dunn):
EPISODES 2, 7.
In Ep2, Frizzard is the curiously nosed landlord of a student house in York, in which are to be found the gateways to Heaven and Hell. Following an ill-conceived loft conversion, he is cast into Hell before being banished to Leeds; the worst known punishment.
He has a grandson called Gordon who is in STEW JESTER's band.
He was last seen in Hell, being banished for his crimes.
POTTER aka "GOD" (the voice of Brian Blessed):
EPISODES 6, 7, 10, BS 6.
God is the father of STEW JESTER and SALLY-ANNE YORKE. He takes the form of Dennis Potter. Much of his attention is taken up by a war in Heaven with his principal rival Tosh. In BS 6 he makes a state visit to Hell, but is shot by LEON PROTZNEDVIC.
He was last seen dying in the arms of Stew in an armour-plated 2CV in Hell in Ep10.
DUET (Stephen Tompkinson):
EPISODES 1-2, 7.
In Ep1, Han is a pervy physics teacher with a spaceship called the S1. He gives the students a lift out of limbo.
In Ep2 he has wound up as a school librarian in TV California, and leads the students on a merry dance so that he might obtain a lost snuff recipe from a rare recipe book called the Chronicle of Enderon. He is described by ALEX JEFFERSON as the "Evil Snuff King of Jenga 4".
As far as we're concerned, he was last seen during the retune at the end of Ep2, his plot having been found out.
FARRADAY (Pooky Quesnel):
BS 1-6, ANS 10.
Jade is the cousin of Eugene Mayburn, a man who BABYSHAM is framed for killing. She joins Babysham in search of the real killer, and may or may not be involved in a relationship with ALAN QUINN.
Jade witnesses the assassinations of GOD and of STEW JESTER, and was last seen at the scene of the latter in Ep10.
OF ALGOR (Gaby Roslin):
EPISODES 1, 3-4, 7.
Jane is a Nordic Goddess. In Ep1 she seeks the Crystal of Enderon in order to reafirm her deic state, and ends up taking part in BABYSHAM's game of Fifteen to One. In Ep3 she and her counterpart, ROD OF MAYGAR, now have twelve tasks to complete, and they rope in the students, only to end up in the thrawl of Fred Harris's Chocablock.
She was last heard being crushed in a compacting chamber in Ep7, and last seen in flashback with Rod in Ep11.
BARRETT aka 'ROD
OF MAYGAR' (Christopher Eccleston / Frank Skinner / Tom Baker / Anthony
Head / Peter Davison / Steve Davis / Richard E. Grant / David Troughton
/ Sean Pertwee / Paul McGann / Sylvester McCoy / Colin Baker / John
CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON: EPISODES 0-2, 8-10 ; FRANK SKINNER: EPISODES 3-10, BS 3 ;
TOM BAKER: EPISODES 8-10 ; ANTHONY HEAD: EPISODES 8-10, BS 3 ;
PETER DAVISON: EPISODES 1-4, 7, 9-11 ; STEVE DAVIS: EPISODES 9-10, BS 6 ;
RICHARD E. GRANT, DAVID TROUGHTON, PAUL MCGANN, SYLVESTER MCCOY: EPSIODE 10 ;
COLIN BAKER: EPISODES 10-11 ; JOHN HEFFERNAN: EPISODE 11.
CHARACTER: EPISODES 0-10, BS 3, 6.
Included below are the main incarnations of Jim Barrett. Others have been less prolific and would not make this list as characters in their own right. But they're not characters in their own right. We met all the known incarnations of Jim in Ep10, while in Ep11 we saw a new guise: apparently his true face.
BARRETT (Anthony Head):
EPISODES 8-10, BS 3.
This is the fourth consecutive incarnation of Jim we meet in the Soap. Following the Barbican crush, Jim regenerates as a suarve Londoner and joins his fellow students in a search for women; his relationship with SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR being somewhat on the rocks. Following the detente at the end of Ep9, Jim finds his way back to Hell where he sets up business fixing computers.
In BS 3, he reprograms BABYSHAM, planting a secret programme under temporary hypnosid on behalf of BHUVANA.
He involves himself in the Toshist plot in Ep10, only to be vapourised within the Vortex. He regenerates as ROD OF MAYGAR (qv).
BARRETT (Christopher Eccleston):
EPISODES 0-2, 8-10.
Jim is a vegetarian Computer Science student from North London, with a thing for peanut butter. He dies in the explosion at the end of Ep0, but is reanimated by MI7, apparently to look after their computers. He dies again at the end of Ep2, when he is attacked by some killer Wizbits. He subsequently regenerates, revealing that he is a Timelord. See JIM BARRETT (Frank Spencer).
The Eccleston incarnation makes a reappearence in Ep8. The reason for such a temporal anomally is, according to his sister, ANNA BARRETT (in BS6), the opening of the Stargate.
He was last properly seen in the Barbican Theatre in Ep9, before presumably going back to before Ep0.
BARRETT (Frank Skinner):
EPISODES 3-10, BS 3.
Following his death at the hands of the Wizbits, Jim regenerated in Ep3, and gained a Birmingham accent. In this guise he was locked in the thrawl of Fred Harris's Chockablock, and fought against his father, SIDDOR, in a battle of logic. He was finally killed by Siddor in Ep7, and set up home in Hell with a fantasised version of CAROLINE BURNHOLM. When he realised that Caroline had done a similar thing with him, the two teamed up properly in Ep8, but the relationship was shortlived owing to the pressures of the goose crisis.
This incarnation of Jim was last properly seen in the Barbican in Ep9, shortly before a Tardis accident splattered him into pained jam. He subsequently regenerated. See JIM BARRETT (Tom Baker).
BARRETT (Steve Davis):
EPISODES 9-10, BS 6.
After his stint as ROD OF MAYGAR, Jim regenerates into a cheeky Londoner. In BS 6 and Ep10, Jim is one of the main conspirators in the Toshist plot to reorganise the Afterlife. After an escape from the Vortex, he finds himself in a prison cell and is forced to regenerate again.
BARRETT (Tom Baker):
Following the Tardis accident in Ep9, Jim regenerates into a big-nosed, curly haired fool. He goes off in his Tardis, probably with ALEX JEFFERSON, and later on his travels he picks up SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR. He returns to York in time for the goose crisis, but ends up crushed by the seating in the Barbican.
He was last properly seen in the Barbican in Ep9, prior to the crush. He subsequently regenerated. See JIM BARRETT (Anthony Head).
ORSON (Kevin Spacey):
EPISODES 0-1, 3-4, 6-9.
Jim (not to be confused with all the other Jims), is, like ANT, a General in MI7. He is killed by BABYSHAM in Ep1, but is evidently reanimated given his later appearances. These include his torturing of J3PO, one of the darker moments of MI7's conduct. Like Ant, Jim is involved in the whole goose-worshipping affair at the Barbican in Ep8. He is referred to as Jim2, or T'Other Jim, to avoid confusion with JIM BARRETT.
He was last seen in the Barbican in Ep9, shortly before being crushed by the seating during the opening of the Stargate.
PENDLEBURY-BARRETT (Gareth Bowley / Nick Frost):
EPISODES 1, 3, 7, 10.
At the time of Ep1, John is a businessman who seeks the Crystal of Enderon. He is subsequently killed by BABYSHAM.
John reappears in Ep3, hosting a computer-game contest. How he returned to life is initially unclear.
An earlier incarnation of John is found in Ep10, as one of STEW JESTER's disciples. Thrown out as a result of Toshist interference, John eventually cuts a deal with the revolutionaries through ALEX JEFFERSON. He then sets out in search of the Crystal of Enderon in order to restore the Hell Tardis to working order, and returns victorious as the Timelord SIDDOR.
THREE-PENNY ORGASMATRON aka "J3P0" (Angus Deayton):
EPISODES 1, 3-5, 7.
J3PO is a robot, originally in the employ of OMRA. Following Omra's death in Ep1, he is arrested along with JIM BARRETT. He subsequently wins BABYSHAM's game of Fifteen to One, only to be captured and tortured by MI7.
As far as the narrative arc is concerned, he was last seen in Ep3, being melted down for information.
(Helen Atkinson Wood):
EPISODES 0-1, 3-5, 7-8, 10-11.
Karen is a Luxembourgian secret agent and the most senior known member of MI7. Most of her appearances have been somewhat enigmatic, and usually include the words "Hello. Hello? Are you there? Hello?".
She's also been blown up a couple of times in cul-de-sac timelines.
In Ep11 she seems determined to right the wrongs of MI7's past endeavours (of which she, herself, may have been a victim), perhaps even sacrificing herself in the process.
PROTZNEDVIC (Jean Reno / Matthew Baynton):
JEAN RENO: EPS 0-11, BS 5-6.
MATTHEW BAYNTON: EP11.
LEON A: EPISODES 0-2, 11; LEON B: EPISODES 2-11, BS 5-6;
OTHER LEONS: EPISODES 2-5 (THREE OR FOUR DIFFERENT LEONS), 9.
Leon is a bespectacled Yugoslavian who appears, in Ep0, to be studying Music, though some speculate that he is training to be an assassin. By the end of that episode, it seems that he is actually an alien observer from a planet called Gleceon 7.
Following the explosion, he is reanimated by MI7, only to die in Ep2 when a deal with some disco-dancing aliens goes wrong.
In the same episode we learn that Gleceon 7 is in fact populated entirely by Leons, and a second Leon is sent down to join the endeavours of his predecessor's former colleagues. It is this second Leon that has been the one we have seen through most of the series.
We gain a little back-story regards Leon and Gleceon 7. He was once an oridinary postman, turned order-guarding Postman of the Apocalypse, turned assassin. Then he got caught in a cloning machine, and the result was a planet of Leons.
In Ep7, our Leon kills SIDDOR. He subsequently (Ep8) reconvenes his late friends to vanquish the goose threat that faces Earth, and dies in the ensuing conflict. By the time of Ep9, he is running a bookshop in Heaven with STEW JESTER.
In BS 6 he assasinates GOD, and plays a major role during the revolutionary activities of Ep10. However, he is absent for God's funeral at the close of that episode. He reappears in Ting-Ying's wardrobe in Ep11, with a new face and a memory problem, and is caught up in MI7s latest machinations soon after.
EPISODES 10-11, BS 1-2, 4-6.
Marty first appears as a police detective in BS1, and establishes himself as something of an adversary to BABYSHAM. He is seemingly killed by a version of Babysham in Ep10, but is apparently rescued from that dimension (along with his team, including longstanding colleague Spillaine) to work for KAREN at MI7.
WAINWRIGHT (Mel Giedroyc / Laura Solon):
MEL GIEDROYC: EPISODES 0-2, 4, 7, 9-10.
LAURA SOLON: EPISODE 11.
Midge is a History student, and ALEX JEFFERSON's girlfriend at the time of Ep0. She is driven insane through a number of factors, and destroys the corridor and its inhabitants by flicking the emergency self-destruct switch in the kitchen. She is reanimated in Ep1, following the explosion, and is given a position on the crew of the Starship Tonka, where she works in catering.
In Ep2 she has a brief relationship with JIM BARRETT before being eaten by Venger.
Prior to Ep11 she was last properly seen in Ep9, on-board the Starship Discovery, where she worked in the galley. In Ep11 she is seemingly rescued from the Foss dimension by MI7.
CARABINA (Meryl Streep):
EPISODES 1, 4, 7.
Mitch is a femme-fatale who seeks the Crytal of Enderon. She is lasered to death by BABYSHAM in Ep1, along with her partner, STAN ROBERTS. She has subsequently featured in a couple of non-narrative sketches in which she is being tortured by her sister, Rita Poole.
EPISODES 1, 7-8, 11, BS 2.
Morten, usually accompanied by his fellow members of Norwegian pop-trio A-Ha, has shown a sporadic tendency to pop up whenever anyone exclaims "A-ha!".
He was seen catching a bus in Hell, while carrying some flaming torches. The suggestion therefore was that he was dead. He turned up again in Ep11, suggesting on that occassion that the cast are still in the television dimension.
OMRA DI TETSOOWT (Matthew Perry):
EPISODES 1, 3, 5, 7, 10, BS 3.
Omra is a crusty old mystic; an adeptee of the Power of Greyskull, and the arch enemy of SIDDOR. In Ep1, he trains JIM BARRETT up as his protege, before dying in a bike-pump accident. This is the last we see of him, save the odd aparition or sketch.
In Ep5, we learn that Omra was cloned in his youth so as to be able to do two jobs at once (rounding up sheep and maintaining the cooperation of the Zen Flamenco cult). The original version went mad from the Crystal of Enderon, and had to be killed by the clone.
In Ep10, the Toshites hand Omra rotating stewardship of the Afterlife.
THE PINEAPPLE (Paula the Pineapple):
EPISODES 6-7, 10.
Percy is the child of CAROLINE BURNHOLM and STEW JESTER, or perhaps a demon that stood in for Stew. She was born on a bus in York in Ep6, and was killed by SIDDOR in Ep7.
As the heir to the Heavenly throne, she is used by MI7 as a potential puppet ruler, but their scheme is foiled in Ep10.
EPISODES 2, 7, 10.
Former childrens' TV presenter, Peter Simon, now mans the doors to Heaven.
In Ep10 we learn that he was once one of STEW JESTER's disciples. He seems later to have been a reluctant participant in the Heaven 17 coup. He may or may not have survived the subsequent revolution.
OF MAYGAR (Peter Davison):
EPISODES 1-4, 7, 9-11.
Rod is a Nordic God. In Ep1 he seeks the Crystal of Enderon in order to reafirm his deic state, and ends up taking part in BABYSHAM's game of Fifteen to One. In Ep3 he and his counterpart, JANE OF ALGOR, now have twelve tasks to complete, and they rope in the students, only to end up in the thrawl of Fred Harris's Chocablock.
Perhaps as part of another time-line, Rod spends time in STEW JESTER's band, where he plays guitar and has a relationship with BERLIN.
He is seemingly crushed in a compacting chamber somewhere in Ep7, but presumably survives.
In Ep9, we learn that Rod is actually a regeneration of JIM BARRETT, as seen in the Vortex in Ep10, and in flashback in Ep11. On F34 he regenerates again as JIM BARRETT (Steve Davis).
YORKE (Deborah McAndrew):
EPISODES 4, 6-8, 11.
Sally is STEW JESTER's half or step sister (the exact relationship is no longer clear). Her father, GOD, offloads her on the students during Stew's funeral. She is killed in the fight against SIDDOR in Ep7, and marries ZED YORKE in Hell. The two are seemingly killed in a Tardis materialisation accident in Ep9, but Sally reappears as landlady of a certain student house in York in Ep11. She's seemingly killed again by MI7, but recovers on account of being a god. This probably poses more questions than it answers.
MICHELLE GELLAR aka "LUCY" (Herself):
EPISODES 2, 7-10.
Not to be confused with Sarah Wriggly in Ep1, Hollywood actress Sarah Michelle Gellar is STEW JESTER's wife, courtesy of a wish on a monkey-limb in Ep2. Their marriage is terminated when she kills him for being a vampire. She herself subsequently dies by getting blown up in Heaven. Subsequently, she is employed as Lucifer: general mananger of Hell. While on holiday, she gets picked up by JIM BARRETT and becomes his side-kick / girlfriend. They are both involved in the goose-crisis in Ep8, during which the Earth is destroyed.
When a working Tardis appears in Ep9, with the possibility of going back in time and saving the Earth, Sarah goes a little loopy and takes her duties as Lucifer a little too seriously. On returning to Hell she is committed to a mental institution. As part of the Toshist rebellion she is released, only to die in the Vortex.
EPISODES 1, 3-4, 6-7, 10-11.
We begin to establish, in Ep1, that Siddor is a high-ranking member of MI7. But he is driven insane by his desire for the Crystal of Enderon, and ends up being killed by BABYSHAM. He is resurrected by some means, though, and makes to kill the students, only to be killed himself by Fred Harris. We learn in Ep5 that Siddor (formerly Jack Barrett) is the father of JIM BARRETT, and presumably, therefore, he is a Timelord. It is therefore little surprise then that Siddor returns for another shot at killing the students (perhaps to despatch them to the paradise of Hell; an ultimate act of love. Or perhaps because he's just plain nutty). But Jim has been prepared by Siddor's arch-rival OMRA, and the two become locked in battle over the course of Eps 6 and 7. Eventually, Siddor succeeds in killing Jim and his friends, only to be killed himself by LEON PROTZNEDVIC. In Ep10, it transpires that Siddor is the same person as JOHN PENDLEBURY, and that the search for the Crystal of Enderon was in the interests of the Toshist conspiracy: the crystal being needed to properly activate the Hell Tardis. In Ep11, flashback reveals that the cast's entire predicament was down to a 'psychology' experiment overseen by Siddor in 1998.
ROBERTS (Fred Ward):
EPISODES 1, 4-5, 7.
Stan is a tired old private detective with a large chin that contains a scale model of Europe. In Ep1, he has a thing for MITCH CARABINA. He is subsequently killed by BABYSHAM while trying to find the Crystal of Enderon.
Since his death, we've had a handful of non-narrative vignettes featuring Stan and Mitch's sister, Rita Poole. The pair of them are stranded together on a desert island in Ep4. All is well until a Gecko intervenes, and things get a little strange.
Stan was last seen living a middle-class existance with Rita in their island home in Ep7.
As far as the main narrative is concerned, he was last seen getting lasered to death in Ep1.
JESTER (Ewan McGregor):
EPISODES 0-7, 9-11, BS 5-6.
Stew is a hairy, nocturnal philosophy student from Sheffield, who organises pub crawls and has something of a Jesus complex.
Over the course of the series he will die three times, but this won't stop him appearing in all bar one of the episodes (Ep8).
In Ep2 we learn that he's the Son of GOD. In BS5 we learn that he's actually the half-brother of God. Such is the nature of soap operas.
Stew has three partners in the Soap: In Ep2 he is married to SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR. Later in Ep2 he is attempting to rekindle an old relationship he had with Mary Magdalen, and in Eps 3-6 he is going out with CAROLINE BURNHOLM. The two have a child called PERCY THE PINEAPPLE.
Stew also has a half/step-sister called SALLY-ANNE YORKE.
In Ep10, Stew is assasinated by BABYSHAM. An earlier, Biblical Stew is rescued to assist in the completion of the Toshist conspiracy, with the dead Stew being fed to Inanna. This Stew escapes the Chockablock only to find himself in 1984 with Babysham. They find their way back to 1999, helping MI7 in the process.
EPISODES 1, 6-7, BS 6.
Tim is a Chinese man who seems to run pretty-much every counter service in the known universe. To date he has appeared in a Chinese Restaurant/Laundry, a Fancy Dress shop, a magical corner shop, a restaurant in Hell and behind the reception at the Hell branch of MI7. This latter postings suggests that he is now dead. The last time we saw him was in MI7 in BS6, mixing a cocktail.
Tim's catchphrase is "Ah... customers!", generally accompanied by a gleeful rubbing of hands.
HODGKINSON (Robbie Coltrane / James Corden):
ROBBIE COLTRANE: EPISODES 0, 4, 7, 10-11, BS 1-3, 5.
JAMES CORDEN: EPISODE 11.
A burly Maths student from Leeds, Tomy seems to think that everything is "fascist", and has no qualms in saying so. He dies in the explosion, and is not reanimated. He makes cameo appearances in Eps 4 and 7, though these are outisde the narrative.
Following his death, Tomy ends up in Hell, and has an affair with an ex mud-wrestler called Letitia Mayburn. He kills her husband and is subsequently arrested.
He was seen going increasingly loopy in a prison cell in Hell, in Ep10, but was apparently rescued from that dimension in Ep11.
ROSENBERG aka "WILLOW" (Alyson Hannigan):
When BABYSHAM first sets up his detective agency in Hell in Ep7, he takes on Willow as his secretary and partner. Unfortunately, she is crushed into a painful pulp in the opening of the Stargate in Ep9.
She was last seen in the Barbican, prior to the crush.
YORKE (Johnny Depp):
When Zed marries SALLY-ANNE YORKE in Hell, he becomes GOD's son-in-law. He joins in the fight against the geese in Ep8, but is killed in a Tardis materialisation accident in the Barbican in Ep9.