We get on the narrative bus in this prequel episode: Once upon a time, long long ago, in a galaxy different to the one you are in now, there were two super heroes: A/V Woman and Conman. They upheld the law, assisted by the Four Postmen of the Appocalypse: Darth Unpleasant, Darth Castrate, Darth Walsh and Darth Leon. But the philosopher Yoga, and his three Zen Flamenco Dancer groupies staged a coup and founded the POG Institute, stealing many of the secret powers of the Four Postmen, and reducing A/V Woman and Conman to small time detectives.

When his previous POG master, Nick Brunswick, is killed, Jack Barrett is placed under the care of Omra and his wife. But Jack is less than happy with his lot, and is seduced to the bleak side by Darth Unpleasant. Meanwhile Omra is cloned in order to do two jobs at once for the understaffed POG council. His first self is to travel to Birmingham to plead for the assistance of the Zen Flamenco Dancers, while his second self is to round up a plague of sheep brought about by Darth Unpleasant and to locate Unpleasant and bring him to justice.

Another person out to kill Unpleasant is the bounty-hunter and former Postman of the Appocalypse, Leon, and he and Omra eventually find themselves in Unpleasant's lair, fighting it out with Unpleasant and Jack (now operating under the pseudonym Sidor).

Meanwhile, the other Omra is driven insane by Birmingham, and kills the Zen Flamenco Dancers, stealing their sacred Crystal of Enderon before destroying the city.

Leon accidentally gets cloned a vast amount of times, and everyone is forced to escape from Darth Unpleasant's lair. Unpleasant consequently orders the rebuilding of a new, bigger Birmingham.

The two Omras fight over a reactor shaft and one dies, while Siddor's ex-girlfriend, Queen Pate, finds the Crystal of Enderon, and gives it to Princess Rae. The Leons populate Glecon 7, and send an observer down to Earth to learn about human life.
 

Jim, Stew, Leon and Alex move into a new house provided for them by MI7, and settle into the drudgery of everyday life. Meanwile, Chris is sent on a top secret mission to Vienna. Unfortunately he stumbles upon his anti-matter persona and causes a cross-dimensional rift into which tumble Jim, Stew, Leon and Alex.

Jim finds himself in a desert where he is helped to safety by two droids: A2D2 and J3PO. They take him to the Mighty Omra who begins to train Jim in the Powers of Greyskull. While al this is going on, Alex, Leon and Stew find that their personalities have gotten swapped about and discover that the only way to realign them is to extract cheese from the arse of a cow. Whilst doing this they accidentally also bring forth a Nordic God: Rod of Maygar. He is on a desperate search for the Crystal of Enderon and must beat the Goddess Jane to said crystal if he is to retain his deific state. The realigned Leon, Alex and Stew agree to help him.

Meanwhile, Jane is in a scale model version of Europe, with the real James Bond. This Europe is secreted within the chin of a private detective called Stan, but eventually he is forced to turn his chin off, thus sending Jane and Bond tumbling into a departure lounge containing Stan and his girlfriend, Mitch Caribina. The four of them, along with a businessman called John, reveal that they are all after the Crystal of Enderon, and agree to search for it together.

The Crystal of Enderon is in the custody of The Not Quite So Evil Genius Siddor, who has stolen it from the beautiful Princess Rae. To protect the crystal, and to wipe out our heroes, he has employed Babysham as an armour plated killing machine. But Babysham has malfunctioned again, and has wiped out Siddor's cronies, who, it should be noted, bare a striking resemblence to the heirarchy of MI7.

Stan, Bond, Jane, Mitch and John find their way to Siddor's lair wherin all bar Jane are killed by Babysham. Jane avoids death by distracting Babysham with an episode of Home and Away.

Meanwhile, Jim and J3P0 are arrested trying to steal a spaceship after Jim accidentally kills Omra in a training session. The two find themselves on a prison planet over-run by disco dancing aliens. There they meet up with Stew, Alex, Leon and Rod, and join forces with the prison governer, Sarah.

Jane finds our heroes and they all enter a game of Fifteen to One, orchestrated by Babysham, in order to try and win the crystal, which is being offered as the prize. But when Jim, Stew, Leon, Alex and Sarah find themselves prematurely knocked out of the game, they steal the crystal instead in order to use it to buy their freedom from the aliens.
 

Jim becomes engrossed in the US soap opera, Sunset Beach, which leads to our heroes getting sucked into the television. Here, a friendly teacher, Han, informs them that they must locate the Chronicles of Enderon in order for him to complete a spell that will return them to the real world.

Meanwhile, on Glecon 7, a planet occupied by people who look like Leon, another Leon is sent down to join our team.

As the team set off, Sarah Michelle Gellar stakes Stew for being a vampire, and the team decide to cremate his dusty remains. At the funeral, they are joined by the new Leon, before being met by Daevid Allen of the 70s band Gong, who tells them that Craig T. Nelson, of the US sit-com Coach, may have the book they seek. He glids them to America where they invoke the guitar sensation, Santana, in order to find Craig. Santana appears and transports them to Craig's house. But he tells them that Craig has been transported to our universe and is as such unavailable. Craig's live in lover, and old friend of Alex, Alana, appears and accesses the cable inteligence AX3 who tells them that the one person who will know the whereabouts of the book is Tosh, the late detective from TV serial The Bill. He directs them to a rentable property owned by a Mr. Frizzard from where they might be directed to Tosh.

Frizzard's attic contains the gateway to Heaven, and there to meet our heroes is Stew, who proves to be the son of God. Stew explains that Heaven is currently a warzone and that it is God and Tosh who are fighting it out. They all meet Che F. Gurdwara, a hot-dog stall owner, and guerilla, and he agrees to take them deep into enemy territory. On the way, Sarah Michelle Gellar gets blown up.

Whilst resting in a trech behind enemy lines, the television gets retuned, and in a moment of lucidity, our heroes realise that Han has been lying to them for his own ends and that all they need do to escape is turn off the TV. But as they prepare to leave, they are attacked by a range of evil beings, and in the melee, Alex escapes into TV static, while Jim is killed.
 

They stumble across Rod and Jane who have now been charged with completing twelve tasks. The two parties agree to assist each other, Alex turns up, and, under contractual obligation to Rod and Jane, our heroes work on the tasks. They accuire a BBC computer and locate BBC expert Fred Harris to convert it into a supercomputer.

But the Fred Harris they have located is an evil doppleganger, and the real Fred is imprisoned by Berlin, the Wicked Witch of the West.

The evil Fred Harris builds a supercomputer which hypnotises our heroes and turns them into mindless zombies, while his good counterpart takes advantage of a fatal disagreement Berlin has with Siddor, to escape, leaving his friend Johnny Ball to fight in an epic battle against Siddor. Johnny is able to escape too, but is persued by Siddor and eventually killed.
 

In the episode, our heroes are captured by pirates, and a fierce sea battle ensues while Stew is called to task for providing sub-standard scripts, and is eventually sacked. Working his time off, he delivers his final scripts:a prequel episode that reveals Siddor to be Jim's dad.

On the way back home, Alex kills Stew on the grounds that Stew is a demon. The evidence is compelling. The group hold yet another funeral for Stew, and his dad, God, shows up, leaving behind Stew's sister, Sally. Meanwhile, Alex goes back in time to Judea, to see if Stew was always a demon. It seems he was not, and the question now is "is the baby Caroline is carrying half-demon or not?" The answer to this question turns out to be "it is" when she dramatically gives birth to a pineapple on a bus.

On the subject of Siddor, Jim decides that he alone must defeat Siddor, using logic. The attempt is a miserable failure, and from the contest, Siddor learns that he has a daughter.

The team go off in search of Jim's sister Anna, in order to reach her before Siddor does. On the way, Babysham trains them in combat techniques. They reach Anna's apartment where she and her boyfriend Craig agree to assist in the fight against Siddor.
 

Siddor manages to kill everyone bar Leon. Leon then manages to kill Siddor, and heads off back to Glecon 7. Meanwhile, our dead heroes find themselves in Hell, which is actually a very nice place to be. Here they are able to live out their fantasies forever.
 

Meanwhile, a mysterious Timelord known as The Doctor, drags his assistant, Sarah Michelle Gellar, around York and stumbles across his future selves, old Jim and new Jim. The three Jims lead our heroes to the geese who are in a spaceship in orbit above the Earth. The goose-worshipping sect are also here, torturing a goose-expert for information.

During a heated battle, our heroes realise that they can't die because they are already dead, but also learn that they can experience pain, and that if they get blown up they will be experiencing a lot of pain over a very wide area. Despite this, they manage to defeat the goose-worshippers who reveal themselves to be the heads of MI7. They are here to rescue Alan from Hell, but they have been double-crossed by the geese, who have stolen dalek technology to become an awsome fighting force.

Our heroes and MI7 team up to destroy the geese. However, the Earth is still set to explode, and despite their best efforts, our heroes fail to prevent this. So they attempt to escape in the TARDISes. But the Earth explodes before they can dematerialise, and the goose-ship is caught in the fireball, tearing our heroes apart in a very painful way and leaving them scattered across the universe in eternal agony. 

Following a detour through a Stargate, the remaining cast: Jim, Alex, Leon, Stew, Alan, Babysham, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Ant, finally reach the Planet Musaka in a battered Tardis with a broken time-drive. Here they set up home, and life is fine until their craving for female companionship drives them to visit nearby planet F34, where they meet another future version of Jim who has a working tardis. Faced with the knowledge that they can return to Hell, Sarah goes insane and shoots Alex. Consequently she is knocked out by Leon, leaving them with no conscious women, but with the option to return to the paradise that is Hell.